The sun was beginning its descent into the Pacific ocean last Sunday while I was hiking in central Phoenix. It played hide and seek behind the ridge line above me and when at last I was swallowed up in the mountain’s shadow it seemed to set the edges on fire. I took a faulty step, caught my balance before tumbling down the hill, and thought about tattoos. I should explain…

I don’t have any tattoos (yet) so I freely admit I’m speaking as an outsider. The thing that fascinates me is that they give us a chance to make one decision at one moment in time and have it affect the rest of our lives. On a random Tuesday night I could go out and declare my undying commitment to a girl, a sports team, or  brand myself with a symbol of who I am. That mark would conceivably be with me forever. I think that’s superhuman in a way because that’s not the way real life works.

How many tattoos end up being regretted? Ask Chris Brown, Mike Tyson, or the world’s biggest Houston Oilers fan. In real life we change as people. Just as time worked to mold the mountains I was hiking on, time is molding me into someone who could very well come to regret having “Goonies Never Say Die” on my bicep.

So, I thought, I can get a tattoo of something I won’t ever come to regret. Something so personal and serious that it will always be a part of me. For instance, what If i got my wife’s name tattoo’d on my ring finger? I know what you’re thinking…  That’s risky. That’s crazy. That’s too permanent. But as I talked this out with my hiking partner she said something that caught me by surprise: “So is marriage.”  It’s a crazy risk. Statistics tell us most marriages fail. So why do so many people jump into it only to regret it and get their mistake lasered off by a divorce lawyer?

I think it’s because of the same reason I almost fell during my hike. I was staring at the destination – I was focused on where I wanted to end up and not looking down at each step I was taking. Each step of my hike is like a day in a relationship – it may not be exciting and some may be really tough but they are necessary to keep you moving. When you have some romantic-comedy dream of being in love – you are staring at the mountaintop and not ready for the twists and turns that true love throws at you.

I don’t mean to say that hope for the future is a bad thing. But no matter how cliche it may seem, the journey is indeed a reward of its own. That’s where the magic is to be found.

The mystery of love isn’t at first sight, the first kiss, or when Tom Hanks met Meg Ryan at the top of the Empire State Building. It’s in the daily steps, it’s what happens after the credits roll… when love is a choice that must be made every day.

Because, after all, there are no tattoos for the heart.