My son is now a walking, running, talking toddler. That fact would be sobering if not for the fact that it drives me to drink.

Each week it seems there’s some new discovery, skill or phase that we get to navigate as first-time parents. Lately, I’ve found that when I call to him from across the room he either avoids looking my way or runs away entirely. It’s not until I provide proof that I’m not trying to hassle him that he’ll come to me willingly. It’s not a great phase.

But one recent morning when I was repeating, “Joshua….. Hey Josh…… Joshua…” reminded me of the story of Adam and Eve – sticky with the juice from the forbidden fruit and they hear God calling to them. Their first instinct – much like my son – was to hide to avoid facing the hassle. They had become aware of their vulnerability and decided to construct some way to hide it instead of heal it.

They may have invented it, but it’s been improved upon since then. These days, I sing songs on Sunday about longing to be closer to God but I have a sneaking suspicion that God’s voice would scare the shit out of me. Maybe I’d hide too. I’d hide from the unflattering light that steals away my ability to only show you my better self. I’d hide from the knowledge that I am still broken even though I’ve convinced so many people – including myself – that I’ve got it all together. I’d hide from the hassle of change.

The thing is, I don’t want to hurt my son. I want to wash him, I want to heal him, I want to take him on journeys and I want to watch him grow up. And yes, to him that sometimes feel like I’m hassling but I know it’s helping him. I know it’s right.

It seems every week I’m finding another level of the parent/child symbolism that God uses and seeing myself as the toddler child stumbling around and running from a Good Dad. He calls my name out of love and I’d rather hide in the shadows like Adam and Eve making lies out of leaves.

My hope is that like Joshua I’ll one day be “grown up” enough to understand and embrace the “hassle” of my Father.