I thought I knew what to expect in Texas.

I was returning to the land of my birth to be “Uncle Dan” – surrounded by six nieces and nephews. It would be quite a culture shock for me as I am used to a slightly more collegiate lifestyle. For instance, when I hear the word “shot” I don’t immediately think one of the kids was visiting a doctor.  It had been months since I’d seen San Antonio and I didn’t realize that something was waiting for me besides my family and friends…

I discovered almost immediately after getting to Sky Harbor Airport that I had forgotten my headphones. This is terrible news to someone who has a slight case of attention deficit di….SQUIRREL!  I went directly to the closest shop and laughed out loud at the $30 sticker price. Behind me, an old man tried to walk out without paying the tax on the newspaper he bought and the clerk yelled at him. I knew I couldn’t make a break for it with the headphones so I sat back down at the terminal and tried to be unaware of the passage of time.

Boarding went quickly and I grabbed the first open window seat. I’m a window seat kind of person – it’s not often that I get to see the world at 40,000 feet so I’m going to take advantage of it every chance I get. It wasn’t a full flight so I had a nice open seat buffer between me and the stranger in the aisle seat. It was a pleasurable flight…until the child. The child with a nintendo game who didn’t care for the FAA’s rule about electronic devices. Before takeoff he was screaming in my ear and his mother – possibly struck deaf by a mean old pharmacist in Bedford Falls? – didn’t do anything to stop it.

The flight left me with a lot of time to think. I thought about the pair of teenage girls sitting in front of me passing the time by playing with a drawing app on their iPhone. One girl drew “Meg loves penis.” The other girl shrieked and snatched the phone away. That game was over.

I thought about the screaming kid sitting behind me. I thought about conducting a scientific experiment on the effect of a rum and coke on a screaming child. I applied the first dose to myself and it had promising results. More research is needed.

Then I thought about the empty seat next to me and the ex who was supposed to be with me on this trip. I thought that I shouldn’t think about such things so I shook it off and read the inflight magazine. After all, I’m over it. Five stages of grief…yadda yadda…I’m ok with it and it’s all for the best.

But I forgot that my family in San Antonio didn’t get to see me find my closure.  The first night in town my father asked in a hushed tone, “So what happened?”  I explained that we weren’t right for each other. That I was ok with it and that it was for the best. The next day my sister waited till we were alone to ask, “So…have you talked to her?”  I explained that we weren’t talking, that I was ok with it and that it was all for the best.

But it’s funny… the one place I didn’t expect to find unresolved feelings about the breakup was in San Antonio. This was our trip. This was supposed to be me showing her off to my family and friends and here I was alone. Loved, to be sure, but alone. I felt a world away from the person who booked two flights a couple of months ago.

A few times during the weekend I was reminded about the alternate reality my trip could have been and I honestly couldn’t picture it. I have learned so much about myself and what I am searching for in recent weeks and I am completely fine with this reality – there is no alternate I would choose. I am ok with it, and it’s all for the best. But it took an empty seat on a Southwest flight to make me truly realize that.

Thank God for soft landings. Both on the runway and of the heart.