“My name is Donnie Smith and I have lots of love to give.”

That’s a quote one of the best movies that somehow overcomes the fact that it contains Tom Cruise – Magnolia. The Paul Thomas Anderson film tells several stories about a variety of characters that intersect in curious and tragic ways and make us question the existence of fate. I think it won an Oscar and I have it in my DVD collection because it makes me feel like I’m more of a movie buff than you are.

But I digress. In one of my favorite scenes, William H. Macy is playing a man consumed with confusion and loneliness. His best days behind him, the character is desperately chasing happiness like a child trying to catch bubbles that disappear in the hand. He has a bit of an emotional meltdown in a bar and it starts with that quote: “I have a lot of love to give!” Later in the movie, Donnie has reached the end of his rope and breaks down crying, “I really do have love to give… I just don’t know where to put it!”

I love the metaphor of love being something we carry around, looking for a place to set it down.  I picture our hearts as glass bottles and love is the liquid. We lug it around and – if we’re lucky – we find a shelf (someone else) to set down our burden. I’ve set my heart down on the wrong shelves before. Some were too cluttered and there wasn’t much room, some weren’t very sturdy and they eventually let my heart fall. Like I said… I love this metaphor.

But that made me think about the condition of my shelf. If I’m looking for someone to hold my heart, I am also inviting someone to trust me with their heart. Is it ready?

A quick tangent: Girls don’t want to be objectified. Usually when I think about guys objectifying girls it reminds me of Old Town Scottsdale on a Saturday night but the opposite is just as bad. It’s easy to see that treating a girl like a piece of meat is taking away her humanity but when you put a girl on a pedestal and worship her, you’re also robbing her of her humanity. Both extremes make her an object.

That’s why my shelf shouldn’t be empty waiting for someone’s heart to decorate it.  And my shelf can’t be so dedicated to the pursuit of trophies that a girl’s heart would just be another item. Is my shelf sturdy enough to withstand those times when holding another person’s love isn’t so easy?

It’s taken more than a few years and some broken hearts, but I am proud of my shelf. You might say I am… shelf-ish? Ok, that was a lame pun. I apologize. But seriously, I believe I’m well-built and time-tested for that special someone who…. has a lot of love to give and doesn’t know where to put it.