The National Hockey League is currently shut down by a lockout with owners and players meeting sporadically to negotiate but with no sign of an agreement. I’m going to look at the issue from both sides including the revenue sharing proposal that affects small market teams and the players demands for a improved pension and benefits.

Commissioner Gary Bettman began his rule in 1993 and has overseen three separate player lockouts. The problematic labor situation is a result of complicated legal and social factors that…. that… Ok I think all the girls have stopped reading this blog entry by now. This one is for the guys…

Gentlemen, we know chivalry isn’t dead yet – but it’s been beaten up one romantic comedy at a time. Being a man used to be about boldness and risk-taking but America is raising a generation that believes in love at first sight with swelling music and slow motion. In the movies and on tv it’s easy to see who should end up with who. You knew Ross and Rachel would end up together. You knew that Forrest Gump and Jenny would find love. You knew that eventually that Kevin Spacey would chop off Gwenyth Paltrow’s head and mail it to Brad Pitt. Ok maybe not that last one…

My point is that it’s easy when it’s not real. But reality has no studio audience, no U2 soundtrack and definitely no director’s commentary. In reality, we deal with a choose-your-own-adventure book with endless pages and the plot is sometimes hard to follow. Men who decide to wait for signs read too much between the lines.

The enemy of manliness is inaction. It’s a paralyzing fear and/or apathy. We reach for boldness like a plant stretches toward the sun. And the sucky thing is – boldness doesn’t mean success. Boldness can mean complete and hilarious failure. But it’s still better than the alternative.

Case in point – a while back there was a gal who I thought about asking out. I was overthinking it  (gasp! shock!) but eventually I got an inspiring speech from a friend and I got up the nerve to do it…. the wrong way. I admit the embarrassing fact that I texted her. I know, I know. But regardless… I took some sort of action. I got no response.

I figured maybe the text message didn’t go through. That has to be a thing, right? So I called a few days later and left a message. I didn’t get a response. Ok that’s strike 2. Normally I’d walk away but I decided that my small taste of boldness (even a weak version of it) was refreshing so I tried a third time. This time I invited her to join a weight-loss competition. Yes, I really did. And no, I never heard from her. But at least I went down swinging! Oh, Banks.

But I like that story because at least I did something! I have had moments in my life where I’ve been frozen with doubt and those are the moments that haunt me.

I watch the show How I Met Your Mother. It took a while to get into it because I hated the character Ted. I still don’t like him, but I like Barney and Robin enough to keep watching. I hated Ted because he was lovesick, self-obsessed, weak, and completely blind to what was so obvious. I hated Ted because he reminded me of me. I’d yell at the screen like an unruly audience in a theater. How could he do that?! What was he thinking?!

It’s like the scene in Swingers when they try and make the lead realize that he’s “so money” and he doesn’t even know it – one of my favorite scenes ever:

If by some black magic I could go back and watch moments of my life like in the Albert Brooks movie Defending Your Life, I’m pretty sure I’d act the same way. Side note – if you haven’t seen Defending Your Life I suggest you stop what you’re doing, log into Amazon.com and rent the movie – and as long as you are blindly following orders go ahead and mail me a check for whatever you think our friendship is worth.

Lately I’ve been trying to imagine watching my life on a screen. Yelling at myself for not making a move or making a story out of the mundane. Try it, it’s a good motivator for The Moment. The Moment where you go in for a kiss. The Moment where you pick up the phone and call the girl. The Moment where you walk up to a stranger in a bar and say “You are the most beautiful girl in here and I think you should know that.”

Sidenote #2 – I did that back in 2007 when I first moved to Phoenix. I was out with friends from Texas having a good time when I saw two girls walk in. One was model-hot and was quickly surrounded by guys. Her friend was plain-looking but beautiful. I watched from a distance as she should awkwardly beside her friend and wasn’t engaging in any conversations. I walked up full of liquid courage and told her what I thought she should know. She lit up and warmly said, “Thank you!”  Slow motion, music swelling… then I realized I had not planned any followup line.  Next, I realized I was full of liquid courage. I mean FULL of it. So I blurted out, “I have to go to the bathroom.” to this girl and bolted. Never saw her again. Oh Banks!

But again, I did something and I’m not ashamed of that story. I made a Moment where there was none. And that’s what being a man means to me. Let’s try and make a moment every day. Can you imagine what our lives would look like on the big screen?

My final thought is that part of being bold is being sure of who you are. Women can smell like insecurity like a shark smells chum and both creatures roll their eyes and then it’s all over. But be sure of what you want and who you are. If she’s looking for fake you aren’t looking for her. Remember… you’re so money!