When I moved to Arizona in 2007, one of the major contrasts from Texas I noticed was efficient highway construction. When one of the major highways needed work, they’d schedule it for overnight on a Saturday and crews would have all the work done and the cones collected by the next morning. The only sign that they were ever there is the improvement they left behind.

It completely makes the whole “90 degrees at dawn” thing worth it.

Lately I’ve been thinking about these work crews in a metaphorical sense. Their ninja-style of overnight progress is a symbol of something dark, and (pardon the pun) less constructive in my life.

I’ve been learning the best way to build a wall between myself and others. A wall I don’t want up; one I don’t ever remember building. Unless you’re a contestant on Survivor I don’t think any of us set out to intentionally exclude people or cut them off from our lives.

And I don’t mean pretend they don’t exist. These kinds of walls can stand strong between people and still allow shallow conversation, coworker collaboration, and can even withstand a relationship trying hard to appear healthy to outsiders.

My walls are build in silence. Like an overnight construction crew sneaks into my heart and completes the project when I’m not looking and when I turn down that road all of a sudden it’s a dead end.  A wall built quickly is not easy torn down – just ask Berlin.

There are people in my life who I’ve walled off from really knowing me. We may be cordial, Facebook friends, or as the Bible would call us “neighbors” – but I have made sure no genuine emotional connection has a chance of happening. Not because I’m a bad guy but because I let silence build a wall.

So the solution is easy: Talk it out. Sure, right. Yeah.

When I’m offended, when I’m pissed, when I’m self-righteous, and when I’ve done enough and it’s their turn… speak up about it. That’s on a level of difficulty I’d put on par with getting up at 5:30am at actually making it to the gym.

It’s just as hard; it’s just as healthy.

One of my favorite verses is from the book of Job – I may have included it before in a post but it’s worth repeating here even if it is taken out of context. In the story, Job is going through all kinds of suffering and his “friends” come over to give him some unhelpful advice. The elders all have their chance to speak and finally it’s this guy Elihu’s turn. And he says…

For I am full of words, and the spirit within me compels me; inside I am like bottled-up wine, like new wineskins ready to burst. I must speak and find relief; I must open my lips and reply.

When I allow silence to build a wall between me and others, I suffer. So, much like Elihu, I must speak and find relief.