11/15/99

i say crap and i say damnit
i say i lost it as if i had it
i can analyze and say i don’t care
truth is i’m still wanting to go out somehwere

all my complaining hasn’t taught me a thing
just like reading a a hymn doesn’t teach me to sing
but i have a car and a nights worth of fuel
but it sits unused cause life is so cruel

it’s that jealousy rising it’s taking it’s toll
my faith is laid waste by the pain in my soul
it sounds poetic and it sounds so dark
but truth is these times leave unerasable marks

i still want to go outside
and i still want to hide
will i ever learn that God wants the best
and stop chasing after the rest?