i’m not a child full of fear
with monsters in my closet
i’m not a soldier in the trench
praying the line holds tonight

but i hide like a prisoner
when the warden says it’s time
i’m a guilty man running
from the music

i’m afraid you’ll find me
and ask me to explain
i’m afraid you’ll bind me
maybe it’s better that way

but no, you had to give me
a choice that i might not choose you
no, you had to give me
a voice that i could deny you
but i wouldn’t be loving you
if i didn’t choose to

i’m absorbed by the silence
there is nothing new to say
my heart spilled its feelings
a year ago today

clutching it close to my chest
i whisper i’m letting it go
not strong enough to surrender
not brave enough to run

i’m afraid you’ll find me
tear it from my fists
i wish you’d stand behind me
and push me through this

maybe it’s better that way…