weak reflection


is this some weak relfection of how God feels
longing for a love that doesn’t leap into my arms
i try to be the one she wants but it’s up to her to see
i’m here to hold her and keep her safe from harm

she likes some parts of me but she wants to play the field
how long will she look until she finds me waiting here?
maybe never. what if she is fooled by something else?
she runs to me for help but feels up and disappears

God are you chasing me the way i chase the girl?
thinking of me and wishing i would realize
everything i’m looking for, you’re so eager to give
i love her. i love her, but she must decide…

is this some weak reflection of how God feels?
longing for a love that doesn’t leap into my arms…

smart and smooth

i can’t be smart and i can’t be smooth
i can’t see me from your point of view
i’m only me and i’m afraid
i’m not the man God meant when He made

all this skin and sadness and a heart i just can’t find
i lost it to a girl i can’t get off my mind

He says He loves me, i don’t know why
He says it doesn’t matter how hard i try
i’m only me, i’ll never be more
He says just to drop His name at the door

so she may not love me
but i think i’ll be ok
i’m gonna let her go
till she’s the one that got away

poetry fails

 

your voice sways the curtains

soft as a breeze
so long since i’ve felt this
i miss you

poetry fails
words grind against
feelings i hide
i love you
and i don’t care
as long as you
as long as you
don’t leave.

ashamed

if You gave me a voice
that all the world could hear
what would i choose to whisper in their ears?

would i talk about You?

i can’t even say
i can’t even say
i’d speak Your name

i’m so ashamed

and if they sentenced You to die
i would not stand by Your side
if they asked me if i know You
i’d deny

would that be a lie?

i can’t even say
i can’t even say
i’d speak Your name

intimacy

intimacy the magic and the fury
of being for you what you are for me
i want to discover, till i can’t remember…
what it was like to have to wonder

your skin, fragile under sunlight
my lips against the sensative spots
the heat of closeness, we stare…
i trace lines through your hair

hands against you
words wait by the bed
what we’re making
can’t be said

shadows squeezed out by our light
making eternal this trembling night
and i close my eyes to hear you try
to feel the full effect of a heavy sigh

and then you laugh
and there we lie
and i never say
goodbye

can’t make me see

 


i think of everything i’ve said to you
all the promises i swore i’d make true
i can’t put up much of a fight
if i can’t make it through one lonely night

i never used to doubt how much you care
so why do i wonder if you play fair?
it’s hard for hope to go on
without you here to prove me wrong

if i love you
it’s because i choose to
if i love you
it’s because i choose to

you can’t make me see
everything you do for me
so if i love you
i choose to

i can’t find a star up in the sky
everything’s black and i don’t know why
it all looks different in the day
but tonight this fear won’t go away

if you here to hold my hand
maybe then i’d understand
if your words echo’d in my ears
if you suddenly appeared

if i wasn’t so fat

she would of loved me if i wasn’t so fat
i doubt everything, but i’m sure of that
she didn’t love me so neither do i
i see myself through her distracted eyes
everyone smiles but they never stay
they would if i didn’t drive them away
i’d love to wonder what kind words might mean
instead of knowing they want something from me
if only i could tease, just once to flirt
but it’s a man’s game, boys just get hurt
everything i defined myself around
is trembling and falling to ground
until all that’s left is all i need
a love that waits to set me free
from every pound, and just-a-friend
from all the reasons i’ll fail again
love, break me open and stitch my wounds
tell me i’ll find someone soon

pennsylvania

so you’re off to pennsylvania
where the horse and buggies roll
you’re off to chase a rainbow
i hope you find a pot of gold
in pennsylvania…

don’t take no shit from anybody
you know what you can do
been there for everybody
now do what’s best for you
in pennsylvania

but before you go
there’s something you should know
you’re never alone, never alone
and always call Texas home

come back from pennsylvania
you’re always welcome here
when the winter snow is heavy
and all the fun has disappeared
from pennsylvania

maybe i’m just jealous
i’ll chase my dream someday
i hope you find your happiness
if you decide to stay
in pennsylvania

half a mind

guy meets girl and doesn’t stand a chance

i’ve sung this song, i’ve done this dance
where i stumble on the edge of hope and fantasy
and fall on reality eventually

but you’re almost enough that i believe
dreams come true and rabbits come from sleeves
and if you don’t know how amazing you are
i’ve half a mind to tell you