if i speak all i speak is a lie
i guess all the skeptics were right
can’t believe how hard i have to try
to keep from calling her tonight
i have excuses, i call them fair
a list of reasons i should dial
but of course she’s never there
a distance not measured in miles
if i was sure she was a mistake
the habit’s not so hard to break
if i was sure, then i could quit
and spend forever missing it
dan is a boy with a broken heart
a girl that he loved wouldn’t requite
dan would be offended to hear
the story told so black and white
dan is afraid that he’s normal
for this is the first time he’s tried
people feel this every day
but that fact dan denies
he thinks he is original
like pain is patent pending
dan is boy who still believes
in happy endings
sometimes it sounds like silence
not many words could be as cruel
sometimes it sounds like a siren
or smells like jet engine fuel
sometimes it stings like an open wound
sometimes it’s a numb touch
sometimes it gets more than it’s earned
sometimes it takes too much
and it can seem like a new creation
most of the time it blurs like tears
but there are a rumored few
who have seen it disappear
sometimes it tastes like our own words
at the time we swore we were right
if we are aware of its existence
it will keep us up at night
sometimes it’s celebrated
sometimes it’s stopped with a lie
and eventually most will forget
that it ever was Goodbye
i used to dream that she would notice
the deep down man i thought i was
people say they put personality first
but no one really does
i used to dream that she would find
a trace of my heart, warm from the fire
and she’d press it to her cool cheek
i dreamt i made her feel desired
i used to dream that she would need me
she’d run to me and hide from her day
i’d comfort her and fight her battles
i dreamt i scared all her monsters away
i used to dream that i made her feel better
that she searched my eyes for my thought
and when i’d sigh she’d beg for a story
i dreamt things were what they were not
now i dream only that i make her feel
for i can’t tell hello from goodbye
cold as ice, blamelessly nice
i dream i can make her cry
there are 360 ways to tell our story
but they all end up with ‘goodbye’
look at it from every angle
sort out the truth from your lies
i am bitter and i’m sorry
for whatever part i played
love can seem so real
though only a charade
you are blind when i am pointing
deaf whenever i call
you are gone when i am lonely
you can fly, i only fall
i hide my heart in easy riddles
but you never saw the truth
you had an answer for hard questions
but words are never proof
i put my feelings in the window
then i left them on the lawn
i kept hoping you would see them
but you just kept moving on
so i tell them you were careless
you don’t care what i may say
it’s my side of the story
you aren’t listening anyway
i do not seek the sound of your laughter
though you still make my heart beat faster
i do not bottle joy to pour on you
i have seen everything you’re willing to do
i found you bright, i found you lacking
a castle walls with signs of cracking
you had your flaws, i had my doubts
i let you in, you hollowed me out
i feel that power in my bones
it’s strongest when i’m left alone
your words slip beneath the skin
i wince, and flash a transparent grin
i am cold, i am no fire
to rest a weary selfish desire
for i am no place to wash your face
and leave refreshed without a trace
there is evidence that you were here
you are tracked in the trail of my tears
last night i was reminded
why i’m trying to forget you
i dreamed i saw you standing
in my dream you were a statue
i was walking in a crowd
you’ve never been alone
they all stepped aside
you were set in stone
felt a camera in my hand
i held it to my face
for i am just a tourist
from a far off place
there was, i think, a smile
chiseled softly in your lips
you know why i have come
this just one of many trips
i waited there, till i awoke
i laid down at your feet
a servant finding freedom
is a taste of bittersweet
i will always think of you
so much like a stone
careless, hard, and cold
though you have never been alone
i chose a costume from my closet
whatever mood you’re in today
face up to an honest mirror
rehearse words i’ll never say
and when i’m home from chasing you
hang my laugh on the back of the chair
slip on a sadness that’s wearing thin
and wonder why i care
i pour myself out for you
whatever you want me to
and they say it’s such a waste
what i do …to put a smile on your face
my hope is beaten and left for dead
but it picks itself up again and again
send someone strong enough to finish the job
i fear this will never end
i want to crawl inside, behind your eyes
and then finally i could see
how truly far you are from
ever wanting me
i have no excuse
to be turned loose
i might do it all again
i hardly have chance
in this circumstance
it might happen again
here i stand, without the proof
to show you that i speak the truth
i’m crying
i’m crying
wolf
you know that before
i stood up and swore
that it was a brand new day
you know that i lie
i will not deny
this time i mean what i say
smuggle these words out of my head
in whispers meant for angel ears
and carry them off to heaven
wrapped up in my deepest fears
i am too smart to fall for this
she is not worth the chase
but i am made a fool by
every smile on her face
so i send a simple prayer
i know i should not pray
let her be the one for me
or take this hope away
lead her back into my life
make me who she wants to see
at least a mask and costume
someone i will never be
i want to make her happy
only God can make her mine
hope is hard to hide from
and love is hard to find