Category Archives: Girls

such a waste

Posted on by under Getting Over It, Girls

i chose a costume from my closet
whatever mood you’re in today
face up to an honest mirror
rehearse words i’ll never say

and when i’m home from chasing you
hang my laugh on the back of the chair
slip on a sadness that’s wearing thin
and wonder why i care

i pour myself out for you
whatever you want me to
and they say it’s such a waste
what i do …to put a smile on your face

my hope is beaten and left for dead
but it picks itself up again and again
send someone strong enough to finish the job
i fear this will never end

i want to crawl inside, behind your eyes
and then finally i could see
how truly far you are from
ever wanting me

wolf

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, Getting Over It, Struggles

i have no excuse
to be turned loose
i might do it all again

i hardly have chance
in this circumstance
it might happen again

here i stand, without the proof
to show you that i speak the truth
i’m crying
i’m crying
wolf

you know that before
i stood up and swore
that it was a brand new day

you know that i lie
i will not deny
this time i mean what i say

hard to find

Posted on by under Getting Over It, Girls

smuggle these words out of my head
in whispers meant for angel ears
and carry them off to heaven
wrapped up in my deepest fears

i am too smart to fall for this
she is not worth the chase
but i am made a fool by
every smile on her face

so i send a simple prayer
i know i should not pray
let her be the one for me
or take this hope away

lead her back into my life
make me who she wants to see
at least a mask and costume
someone i will never be

i want to make her happy
only God can make her mine
hope is hard to hide from
and love is hard to find

you are nice enough to say

Posted on by under Girls, Sad

sometimes i can’t move fast enough
to duck out of the way
of what you don’t really mean
but are nice enough to say

so i’d like to leave it all to you
the choices to be made
and i’ll be along for the ride
no games to be played

this time it’s a safer way
no one hurts or wants to run
when you want to, freely call
if you need to talk to someone

i’m trying to accept my role
i am here just to fix you
when your broken down and
when you don’t know what to do

and i can’t speak for tomorrow
but right now i am ok
with being here for your tears
and then watching you skip away

3/15/01

public access

Posted on by under Getting Over It, Girls

1-26-01
—-

she was more to me than i can say
more than syllables convey
it was public access on the air
everyone gets it, nobody cares

hearing her voice and “hey it’s me”
like the oxygen i forgot to breathe
and i inhale it and fill my soul
claw for the diamond in the coal

she was a cliff one step behind
i can’t fly but i don’t mind
falling for her wasn’t so bad
but a worse landing i’ve never had

i see her smile trapped in a frame
in the picture it all stays the same
but now each goodbye could be for real
everyone knows how i feel

these tears traded like stocks and bonds
on the market of ‘is she really gone’
so i spin it fresh for a tale to tell
how i was lulled into her spell

she didn’t even give me the chance
to make a grand speech for the sake of romance
i didn’t get to stand my ground
to “i’ll see you around”

that’s not fair
you don’t care
you’ve been there too
it’s happened to you

right?

abandon my hope

Posted on by under Girls, Struggles

1-15-01
—–

oh yeah i’m feeling the burn alright
the soft ache of a silent night
it’s not so much that i’m lonely
it’s not so bad that i’m me

i’ve got a stack of distractions
waiting for me to take action
but i’m stuck on the maybe you might
want to waste some time tonight

tv, flicker on, and save me from
lessons learned that strike me dumb
i am not defined by a telephone ring
i should not wish for such things

like an empty roll and a strangers place
to ask for help is to risk disgrace
but everyone feels this way today
but only i have the guts to say

i don’t care that it’s foolish
i don’t care that i’m wasting a wish
the world can’t tell me what to do
i cannot abandon my hope for you

5-18-99

Posted on by under Girls, Sad
i’m supposed to say something smart
but i’m fresh out of wise
everyone’s waiting to laugh
they stare with pitiful eyes
i can tell a story
one they’ve already heard
boy meets girl, and then
comes that L word
what audience will sit through this
even though the seats are free
i have to admit, i wouldn’t submit
to sit and watch me
tough love, no chance
she’s way out of my reach
she’ll never be my girl
no matter how sweet my speech

a girl

Posted on by under Getting Over It, Girls

dammit
she’s a girl
just a girl
not a pill to make my problems go away
not a destiny to make my credits roll
a girl
with her own issues and desires and dreams
more apart from me
than i’d admit to myself
she’s not what i look for her to be
because i’m looking for fiction
and she’s just a girl

fair to her

Posted on by under Girls, Sad


is it fair to her if i’m just killing time until you’re mine?
is it fair to her if i’m just holding on until you’re gone?
but i won’t break her just to fix myself
what if she is the one?

i know you’re not, but you could be

weak reflection

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, Girls, God, My Favorites, Sad


is this some weak relfection of how God feels
longing for a love that doesn’t leap into my arms
i try to be the one she wants but it’s up to her to see
i’m here to hold her and keep her safe from harm

she likes some parts of me but she wants to play the field
how long will she look until she finds me waiting here?
maybe never. what if she is fooled by something else?
she runs to me for help but feels up and disappears

God are you chasing me the way i chase the girl?
thinking of me and wishing i would realize
everything i’m looking for, you’re so eager to give
i love her. i love her, but she must decide…

is this some weak reflection of how God feels?
longing for a love that doesn’t leap into my arms…