i try

i try to be honest
but sometimes i lie
i try to be fair
but i have judgmental eye

i try to be friendly
but sometimes i’m mean
i try to keep my wickedness
to myself and unseen

and i try to act like i don’t hear when people say…things
i try to act like their words don’t sting

that’s right i’m not feeling alright tonight
that’s right everything is not ok
did you see me when i cried – did you happen to hear me sigh
oh i can’t keep anything from you…
but i try

i try to be good
but i always turn up bad
i try to be happy
but it always makes me mad

i try to ignore
all my faults all my needs
but it’s hard to forget
what everyone else can see

i try to believe these chains they set me free
i try to act like it doesn’t bother me

oh i don’t see you cryin’ here with me
oh i don’t see you dyin’ here with me
why can’t i see you died for me?

just for today


God the battle’s really hard these days
when one falls there’s no one there to take her place
and another leaves this world still lost
some decide it’s too high a cost

God I’m getting tired of this
have the prayers i’ve sent up missed?
You say I’ll sing to You for all eternity
but from where I sit it’s hard to see — why

i want to praise you forever
but i can’t see that far

so i will – just for today
for this day – this day that you have made
I will praise you – just for today

God show me where to turn
lite my soul and let it burn
i miss the fire that raged in me
the warmth, the light others could see

You say You’re here I know You are
but it feels like You’re some distant star
open my eyes to see You’re light
’cause in this darkness I lose my sight

A Small God

during the forest fires in Mexico, May of ’97 – aggieland was
blanketed in a dark heavy fog – driving home one day i noticed
the sun looked very much like a full moon.

passion burns
in the land to the south
and the smoke is chokin’ me dead

it rolled into town
just yesterday
and found a home in my head

this thick blanket
keeps me warm
but it’s the middle of june

so i’m kickin’ it off
to greet the dawn
but the sun looks more like the moon

i know that my God is big enough to fear
but how can He be small enough to hear
that i’m needing some change to change my mind
cause i’m thinking of leaving it all behind
and i’m lying when i say that i’m just fine

armies with no flags
are massing at my borders
i’m fighting an unseen war for law and order

i don’t need to know their homes
to know what they want with me
i offer as a living sacrifice to the God I also cannot see

i know that my God is big enough to fear
but how can He be small enough to hear
that i’m needing some peace to peace my mind
and i’m thinking of leaving it all behind
and i’m lying when i say that i’m just fine

einstein to a child

 


don’t try to teach me
i’ve got nothing to learn
got everything figured out
got knowledge to burn
there’s nothing you could say
that i don’t already know
so don’t waste your words on me
feel free to go
what’s that you say you love me
well i can’t believe my ears
you say you want to help / heal me
and wipe away my tears

it’s like mozart to a deaf man
it’s like eistein to a child
i do not know why you do what you do
but sometimes it makes me smile
you tell me that you love me
i sure don’t know why
but i choose to believe so come
and save my life

i don’t know why you love me
can’t because i’m worthy
i don’t deserve it because
of what i have and haven’t done

i could spend my whole life
pondering till i knew
that the only thing that matters is
you do
what’s that you say you love me
well that’s music to my ears
you say you want to help / heal me
and wipe away my tears

it’s like mozart to a deaf man
it’s like eistein to a child
i do not know why you do what you do
but sometimes it makes me smile
you tell me that you love me
i sure don’t know why
but i choose to believe so come
and save my life