why does he love

she stands on the corner shouting his name
he used to run his fingers through her hair
she’s made her choice to be a whore
and he tells himself not to care

’cause if he turns to face her calling
it won’t matter how sincere
he knows that eventually
she’ll end up right back here

so why does he lay down his heart to break?
why does he love for lovings sake?
he made a promise and every day he makes it true
maybe one day, maybe she’ll love him too

he adores the memories
the first laugh, the innocent kiss
he knows that sometimes
she forgets that he exists

she still says that she needs him
shows up drunk at his front door
he knows she’s only lonely
like a thousand times before

Jesus

Jesus, a name a rarely use
this is that cliche beg for Your hand
i read Your touch brings healing
i don’t really understand

if Your hands, then part of the body
aren’t we all your flesh and bone?
send someone to hold me
i cannot mend if alone

my days hold no assurance
my heart no hope to burn
like fuel to reach my goal
Jesus, i don’t know where to turn

in faith that is not free of doubt
i ask for Your peace, for a friend
i’ll wait here trapped by fear
for the rescue You will send

lonely


sure you can beat me, you’re bigger and stronger
sure you can find me, i hide – you wait longer
and will quick bolts from ominous skies
you can send me to pay for each one of my lies

sure you can show yourself in this place
in order i’d have to fall dead on my face
you can be the king, make me behave
with one word you can make me your slave

but are you lonely
without me?

sure i can scream at empty blue skies
beg for a sign with tears in my eyes
like a child not getting his way
i can try to hurt you with the words i say

i can laugh at what i’ve done
wasted all night waiting for the sun
but could i learn to live with the feeling
like i’m broken with no hope of healing

proof

i’m out for proof that you still care
i’d settle for knowing that you’re there
i wish you’d send a sign
i don’t want to doubt you

so i guess my faith is so weak
i must beg you to speak
all you offer me are words
i’ve never really heard you

if you’re everything they say you are
you know the secrets of my heart
the things i mean but cannot say
thank God you never run away

am i too smart to believe
you’re a possibility?
are my eyes so blind to see
what you’ve done for me?

if you made me i’d obey
i would be a fearful slave
but i’d never choose to
love you

i choose you


should i throw back practiced lines
just repeating things i’ve heard
or should i stay quiet until
you send a word?

i don’t think i can hear you
i don’t know to fear you
i don’t think i can hear you

i don’t know how to love you, Jesus
i don’t know how to love myself
love is just a word to me, Jesus
a secret no one ever tells

can you calm these storms?
cause i’m so scared, i’m so scared
when you do calm these storms
i’ll know you’re there
i’ll know you’re there

but is that all i want from you?
just stone hard concrete proof?
can i choose you?
can i choose you?

can i say you tell the truth
without the proof?

can you calm these storms?
either way, i choose you

audible songs


what if each day was a treasure to find?
and there were no curtains to hide behind
could i just believe in you?
take one thing as undoubtedly true?

what if everyone automatically knew
and didn’t have to make excuses for You?
is it a sin to seek audible songs?
come in a cloud and tell me i’m wrong

sometimes it gets so hard
to remember
i love you

i collect the answers to pick and choose
what truth is out there that i can’t abuse
stands on its own even misunderstood
would i even admit it if i could

no, i would make it a choice of desires
share in your sorrows or stay warm by the fire
i chase a world that can’t offer me more
than what you give, what i ignore

your reasons

i’d give you the best of me
if i wasn’t so afraid of what you’d do
i say you know what’s best for me
but i act like that’s true

in dark rooms i wrestle with you
you unleash your obvious truth
deep down i know the answer too
all i’m asking for is proof

i think of your reasons for loving me
clashing with your invisibility
but they’re one and the same
you bear the blame
it is my choice to see

like an animal who’s spent his life
safe in captivity
sometimes i wish that you had
never set me free

the world is meaner than i can stand
you say you have a place
i wish you’d lead me by the hand
but you want to be chased

worth it

am i led into the desert
or do i go there on my own?

do i have to swing so hard
to get water from a stone

i can’t see a burning bush
i can’t see your signs
i wish you’d come and tell me
something that i can’t deny

say you love me
tell me i’m beautiful
say you love me
tell me i’m beautiful
tell me i’m worth it.

i would sit right by the fire
they’d ask me and i would deny

and i’d stand back in the corner
till i put a finger in your side

if i believed you


if i loved you
i meant REALLY loved you
wouldn’t i want to make you happy?
wouldn’t i feel more than i can explain?
if i loved you
wouldn’t i change?

if i trusted you
i mean REALLY trusted
would i be so afraid of the future?
would i make excuses for what has been said
if i trusted you for daily bread?

if i believed you
then i’d need you
if i saw in you
what i have praised
would i let your name fall
loosely from my tongue?

if i truly meant what i never say
if i chased the light of the ending day
would you see the hunger, desire
if i loved you more than i love the fire

if i loved you i would chase
if i trusted i’d dance
if i believed i would laugh
they say such things are mere chance!

drown in the streams

 


there’s a voice in my head muttering, “God, no”
there’s a voice in my head shouting, “i told you so”
and all of my choices have led me to this
imagine all chances i’ve missed
to make something of what i’ve seen
but i let hope get the best of me
i let hope get the best of me

and the truth is i can’t really see
what is or is not best for me
my deepest feelings
my secret dreams
love is the ocean
but i drown in the streams

all of my choices have led me to this
God, you know everything i’ve missed
when i let hope get the best of me