written while watching familes searching for the missing after September 11th
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Category Archives: God
hope seems lost
your kiss is sweet in mystery
to others, not unknown
i long to feel your softness
touch this heart of stone
like a whisper held in thunder
is my prayer under my tears
to keep me safe and searching
till you find me waiting here
it seems all hope is lost
but i don’t despair
i know God can hear my prayer
if we were meant to face our lives
together, hand in hand
then that makes clear emotions
i don’t yet understand
but i still seek the sun
here in my darkest hour
i will not test your love
on the pedals of a flower
unmistakable
it’s quite foolish of me to say
i have even hope to pray
for a miracle greater than splitting the sea
for God to drop her in love with me
but David saw giants and gathered some stones
Samson, surrounded, had just a jawbone
Daniel survived in that dark lion’s den
don’t get me started on Gideon
you have the power, you have the plan
you know the rib missing from each man
so i ask, Father, make her mine
if she’s not, send me a sign …unmistakable
she is bright lightning in my sky
heaven sent, sure, but why
for the beauty, the awe, for me to see
or to destroy like skin to electricity
i don’t know if she’s good or bad
just the best hope i ever had
oh how i want her, i have no chance
but, God, You can give me romance
tattoo
tonight i look back on my life
i think that you would like to see
me by the fire, out in the crowd
saying, “no, he aint’ with me”
because i cannot claim to be
someone who knows the truth
when i can’t even walk in your way
everyday of my life is proof
but You tatoo me
Your word in my heart
You tatoo me
we’ll never be apart
help me live up to
this tatoo
play the music, pull me offstage
i’ve done my damage to Your name
You let me hold up a banner for You
while i’m a slave to flesh and flame
so when i deny You, are You glad
You don’t have to speak for my sins?
but when i weep, You hold my hands
You know that i’ll do it again…
what God intends
lifting up prayers like torches
to light this shadowed land
a cry for something solid
some simple i can understand
i am looking for some treasure
some weakness to defend
i am looking for her love
but it’s not what God intends
i am looking for a goddess
to bow and kiss her hand
i lift up prayers for things
God does not have planned
a flame up to this dry hope
i seer these words in my mind
that not every priceless treasure
is meant for me to find
i’m knocking at a door
i think opens up on home
a mirage in desert sand
it’s my reason to roam
but i’m crying for attention
her care to keep me warm
i crawl into her life
shelter from the storm
she is what i can’t pray for
she is the treasure to defend
she is the rainbow in my sky
she is not what God intends
at the pass
i’m not a strong man
when i push down
get up again
but the hardest thing
is seeing you smile through
tears of my intent
are you ok?
i did not mean it
i’m sorry
please won’t you stay?
i’d quit betting on me…
here are scars from fights we’ve won
here are scars from nights i’ve run
but head me off at the pass
i’m a rat born into a maze
i don’t know any other way
don’t question the walls
or the end of my days
i can’t see anything but yesterday
the ground will shake beneath my feet
the nations will fall in flames
but cover me up in your promises
and tell me again how you know my name
here are scars from fights we’ve won
here are scars from nights i’ve run
but head me off at the pass
i’ve got so much i want to say to you
but the words all spill out of order
put a hand on my shoulder
You know…
glorify
God, i speak to You in a breaking voice
selfishly searching for reasons to rejoice
Your name, Your reputation, made so weak in my hands
the skeptics look – think they understand
but let it not be a question of me
but brighter shine your unmockable glory
this life, it is not given to see what we might do
and i know that i will give it back to you
as i breathe and speak and die
as i sing and laugh and cry
i will keep Your name held high
above all else i’ll glorify
promises fade, they fall apart
i build up walls around my beating heart
You watch me carry the flag of Your name
i take my falls, why must You take the blame?
no bumper sticker, no bold tatoo
could never say anymore about You
than my life when viewed from the outside
by those who seek, what i try to hide
show me
nothing seems less fair
than these tears that fall
i was on my best behavior
still not good enough
for You
who watches us unfold
and lay bare in open day
cringe and crinkle in the flames
no, still not worthy
nothing i have earned
to keep me happy, keep me saved
keep me from being burned
it’s only You
who pull me higher
only You who demands my desire
above healing of old wounds
i want You to come back soon
and explain to me why
i let myself down
and give pieces of me away
to all the wrong people
who can’t be trusted
with what You made
this sad mess of a man
but You see more in me
than i could ever dream
show me
a frame from a better day
a glimpse of when i let go
and let You lead the way
fault
one crack in the wall means the death of the dam
and i feel the fissures in all that i am
i can’t let go of what should float away
these waves are relentless, they pound the shore
a stronger man could stand for more
but i crumble and fall into the sea
but the waters NEVER rise above me
you told me i’d make it
if i just held on
it’s my faults
i couldn’t last that long
so just don’t make things ok again
i need creation, not just ammends
don’t paint me over in pure bright white
but give me the fire i dread like death
give me the birth i crave like breath
melt my walls and make them new
so the world will know i stand for You
tell me i’ll make it
if i just hold on
fix my faults
so i can’t last that long
don’t want to
i don’t want to close my eyes
to make You more real to me
cause if i believe then i believe
You’re strong enough to make me see
i don’t want to sit in silence
cause i want to know You so much
i’ll believe the whispers of my mind
use the calm as a crutch
but You held Peter above the waves
when the storm would have him drown
so i believe that You can save me
from his shaky ground
the landmines of logic are waiting
for my fragile faith to fall
i know that only a fool
thinks he knows it all
but the mountains aren’t moving
and grandma still died
sometimes it’s too dark to see
You’re still my guide