Category Archives: God

dying of vows

Posted on by under Girls, God, Sad

 


we’ve watched these ships set sail from shore
happy, frail, and searching for more
sometimes the waves pull them apart
two pulled from the wreckage of one broken heart

God, we’re scared to venture out to sea
what if we miss what’s meant to be
so many ships never make it home
are we better off here alone?

but you hear the whispers my soul speaks
you know i need your strength, i’m weak
God, Your love – never goes away
why is it so hard to make ours stay?

such a fragile thing you’ve given us here
hearts that ache and break and want to near
we toss around love like it’s ok to fail
but you loved enough to take the nails

so many promises turn out as lies
we follow our hearts till we realize
we don’t stop searching for something new
even though we found it all in You

i want the love that only you give
unconcerned with the life i live
a love beyond anything i do
a love that never breaks in two

 

goddess

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, Getting Over It, Girls, God, Sad

i’d follow her to my demise
if she’d only wipe my eyes
her frown could cloud the bluest skies
i lived each day to feel her pass by

i’d never speak her name in vain
i’d always wonder what she’d say
i’d stick with her through wind and rain
i believe i’ll see her (again) someday

but she, she’s not a goddess walking on dirt
she’s just a girl who knows how to flirt
God, forgive me, i fell at her feet
and i got hurt

but she didn’t love me enough to bleed
i had nothing she would need
she spread her wings when she was freed
and i could not follow that lead

she held me down when i was weak
she wouldn’t listen when i’d speak
she’s not the treasure that i seek
but i believed

burning bush

Posted on by under Girls, God, Love

“…I will go over and see this strange sight – why the bush does not burn up”
— Exodus 3:3

i’ve been kicking up sand on my journey
left to my past and my pain
in the heat of the day, i am moving
no direction, no voice, no shade

how many times have i wondered
how did i get myself here
when i chase down springs of water
the illusion dissapears

but hey, what’s the light?
never seen a glow so bright
i feel pulled and i feel pushed
toward that burning bush

we’ve been waiting for some sign
a message to share God’s will
holding up empty cups without
the faith to ask for a refill

everyone around is weak and they
rest on how they feel
we can’t explain the mystery
how God is silent and yet real

(there’s that girl…)

hey, she’s a light
never seen her glow so bright
i feel pulled and i feel pushed
toward that burning bush

afraid of You

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God, Struggles

i’m not afraid of You
i’m afraid of what You can do
open my gates for an army of enemies
and let me have what i’m reaching for

so i get dressed up for you
i wash my hands and wipe my brow
a smile for you like you can’t see
i’m just trying to win your mercy

i doubt you’re there because
i am just as weak as i ever was
beat me down and steal my pride
prove that evil has nowhere to hide

how could you hang there
when you knew this day would come
how can you still care
after everything i’ve done

it’s cheap and easy to begin
“Lord, forgive me for my sins”
but it hurts so much to say
forgive me for today

surely this one was what made
the Son hang in unholy shade
surely God had to turn away
when this debt was paid

war

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, Faith, God

well i’ve been promised the world in your name
in the morning it all sounds the same
well they tell me i’m new, that i matter to you
i want to believe it’s true

so i set out all smiles to see
the grand plan of eternity
and all that i find are ambushing sorrows
i can’t even predict my tomorrows

it’s feeling less like a quest
to capture what’s best for me
and more like a war that i must surrender

the easy advice, “fall upon trust”
but i want to believe just because i must
evidence that speaks louder than doubt
love so real – my fears are drowned out

but i would not be loving you
if i did not choose
to believe you’re true

so this is my white flag
take me over

all that i am
i lay at Your feet
and joyously
i claim defeat

make of me

Posted on by under Faith, God, Struggles

if i envy…what will be?
if i got what the world took away from me
will i be the one i always claimed to be?
truth from lies i’ve told everybody

i see a man i might have been
the finish line for what i never could begin
to run that race you have to want to win
and i could never find that fire again

but i am only what you make of me
i am only what you make of me

shoulder my load and walk on home
leave me here to cry alone
i’m choked by vines from seeds i’ve sown
but You don’t forget Your own

never leave me, no don’t forsake
me or these messes i make
stay close you can hear my heart break
closer still every time i wake

have it all

Posted on by under Faith, God


Oh Holy God – You reach for me
i offer my heart and soul
and everything i give away
leaves me feeling more whole

oh God You can hear my cry
You see my heart’s washed clean
Jesus, You alone can take
these burdens that i bring

hear my cry – “thanks” – what you’ve done for me
Jesus, I will give you everything
even what I want
even when i fall
Jesus, You can have it all

like a storm cloud to Job You speak
like a whisper to Elijah You call
write you will upon my heart
like the writing on a wall

Your Glory, it is the melody
for a song i long to hear
and when i see You face to face
You’ll sing it in my ear

hear my thanks for what you’ve done for me
Jesus, I will give you everything
even what I want
even when i fall
Jesus, You can have it all

can i come over

Posted on by under Faith, friends, God, My Favorites, Struggles

 


can i come over and make it ok
i don’t know what to say
but i can hear you choke back your tears
i have to fix what’s broken

i know the pain that has you down
i’m wounded too, i limp around
i know that life – life is unfair
but that is a reason for joy

we know the end of the story
but this chapter breaks our hearts
and i can’t make you smile
are we that far apart

i don’t know why the guys don’t call you
i don’t know who is meant for you
but i know beyond romance
God is waiting….waiting….

so let these words bring you comfort
rest not in things to come
but know that your hope for tomorrow
comes from what’s already been done

whatever i need

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God, Struggles

how many times have you stood at the beside
and watched the loved ones come in and cry
each tear a secret no one can confide
how many times have you watched us die

how many times have you whispered your grace
how many people really heard what you meant
each word, twisted and turned, for quick release
how many times have you stayed silent

but this is me, down on my knees
i know you’ve seen me this way before
this is me, saying ‘help me, please’
and knockin’ on your door

give me what it is i need to be free

i’m locked up here in day after day
looking for something, some kind of key
mourning the loss of things passed away
how many out there are just like me

the questions are echoes bounced off the sky
the answers you gave are ignored or denied
we’re not here to watch our lives pass by
how many times have you heard this cry?

break my heart

Posted on by under Faith, God

 


oh God, You saved me
here i am asking You
to do it again

find me here
where i hide
and point me home

but oh this light
makes me wish it was night
i don’t want to be seen now

cause i know what You have to see
cause You can’t settle for my lies
no – You always realize

that i am worthless
to me and my plans
and i am unworthy
for You to call me a man

but oh God, You see some worth in me
that i can’t believe is there
at times like this i can’t see
just why You care – You care

stop this pounding in my head
that’s telling me i’d be better off
over there instead of waiting i’m waiting for you

to break my mind open
break my thoughts to fit your will
break my heart open
the only way  You’ll fill it
break my heart

oh God, You know me
and here i am saying, “who are You”
one sided , i’m hidin’
i’m hiding from You

put Your hand on my heart
and rip it apart
if that’s the only way
You can say – here i am. here i am. child, here i am.

break my heart. break my heart.