Category Archives: God

better off

Posted on by under Faith, God, Struggles

i automatically consider san antonio as God’s will simply because i actually moved here — which i guess is something of a miracle. but truth is i’m just terrified to think that this is just another mistake or dead end. but i may not be “better off”, but at least i’m asking…begging God for help instead of living in blind contentment.

now i understand
how way back then
they could run from what i’d embrace

i said they were fools
i still know it’s true
but now i’m one of them

cause i can’t deny – You brought me here
though the reason is not clear
and i can’t deny – You’re still behind
the blessing i can’t find

no i’m not better off
but i’m closer – to You

i had a smile
brought from earthly things
but they too soon turned to dust

now i’m struggling
with what i’m doing here
and the hardest thing is to trust

cause i blame You – You brought me here
and the reason is not clear
and i thank You – You still behind
me though i am so blind

no i’m not better off
but i’m closer – to You

make it clear

Posted on by under God, Struggles


i left home for college
he left cause he killed a man
we found more than we were ready for
more than we could comprehend

i envy him – how he stood there
staring at proof of God’s plan
how he doubted, and still believed
how he led the slaves from that land

where is that sign
that sends me on my way
signs of the time
don’t seem to speak through flames

but, God, i’m listening – why can’t i hear
when You speak – make it clear

i fear unpopularity
he hid from the wrath in the land
i am shown my potential
he knew he was the weakest man

i want an angel here telling me
i have the strength to succeed
and i want to test You when i can’t believe
You are choosing me to lead

where is my sign
that tells me what to be
signs of the time
don’t seem to dry my fleece

God, i’m listening – and i can’t hear
when You speak – will you make it clear?

All the Answers

Posted on by under Faith, God, Struggles

 


why don’t i love my parents like a used to
why don’t i just do what i’m supposed to

why must this world spin on despite my cry for pause
where does God’s grace collide with God’s laws

oh – i don’t have all the answers
but i have all the answers i need

why don’t i don’t have friends like everyone’s supposed to
why can’t i just learn to trust in You

why must my prayers feel like they don’t leave my room
how long can one wait for someday soon

oh – i don’t have all the answers
but i have all the answers i need

what can she teach me that i don’t already know
what could be waiting in San Antonio

crap dammit

Posted on by under God, Struggles

i say crap and i say damnit
i say i lost it as if i had it
i can analyze and say i don’t care
truth is i’m still wanting to go out somehwere

all my complaining hasn’t taught me a thing
just like reading a a hymn doesn’t teach me to sing
but i have a car and a nights worth of fuel
but it sits unused cause life is so cruel

it’s that jealousy rising it’s taking it’s toll
my faith is laid waste by the pain in my soul
it sounds poetic and it sounds so dark
but truth is these times leave unerasable marks

i still want to go outside
and i still want to hide
will i ever learn that God wants the best
and stop chasing after the rest?

wanna give it away

Posted on by under Faith, God


there are whispers in the daylight
saying revolution starts tonight
so watch the sun slowly sink down
and forever change this town

my friends rage into the world
with a song or with the girls
and creation seems to click
for God’s chosen picks

but i just want to give it away
every choice and ever chance
release my tomorrows to the one who can see
trusting God will lead me – home

some people beg my advice
but i’m ready to roll the dice
i know that life could be good
if i just do what i should

tears are useless – this i know
they never show me where to go
yeah, i’ll have to choose someday
but God’s will can make a way

inspiration for another day

Posted on by under Faith, God, Struggles

what can i say more than thank you?
how can i pay back with sound?
You’ve given me what i can keep
and forever follow round

a photograph on the inside of me
a stil picture of what my life could be
and when i’m sick of the disease
you offer me the remedy

what i can’t find in the times
what i’ve lost along the way
YOu are what can be mine
inspiration for another day

why do i rise but to meet you
what is my breath but your name
every thought meant to please
ever word to fuel the flame

to only see that i’m unworthy
it lends all the more to our gaze
and to know a love so pure
it leads my weak heart to praise

what i can’t find in the times
what i’ve lost along the way
you are what can be mine
inspiration for another day

stronger than destiny

Posted on by under Faith, God

won’t you tell me why
the world wants to fall
the apple’s off the tree
we’ve swallowed it, seeds and all

oh we think that we’re better than Adam
cause we’ve lived and learned
we’ve climbed so high, yet
we’re still destined to burn

cause feel the chest man, one rib short
woman feel the pain
this child that we’re birthing
oh we dare not speak his name

but i know – someone
stronger – than what we’ve done
He’s stonger than tragedy
stronger than our destiny

won’t you tell me why
we’re pretend we’re doing fine
we can’t turn off the tears
by closing our eyes

everything we celebrate
is turning on its fans
every cheer we send up calls
for the end of man

so don’t look so shocked
when the fire lights the sky
cause nothing is so flammable
as this society’s lies

standing still

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God, Struggles

i’m a leaf caught in the wind
surrendering the all of me
to the breezes of these times
i miss the security of the tree

i don’t want divine rejection
i want to be right at first
but with every choice it’s harder
to imagine things much worse

so maybe i want pity
cause i’m lost without His will
can i be running from God
standing still?

i’m so afraid of hearing no
that i doubt i’ll hear a yes
it’s a mystery why some He shelters
and others aren’t so blessed

but a powerful God should know that
my heart cries out so pure
the deepest sorrow from the sick
is the existence of lost cures

so maybe i want pity
cause i’m lost without God’s will
can i be running from Him
standing still

many will say i’m choosing
a blindness to the signs
many will tell me give to God
what i still must hold to be mine

good boy

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, Girls, God

i went to church this morning
to chase a trace of some joy
i stayed through sunday school
oh – i was a good boy

i volunteered for the nursery
gonna pick up the toys
i’m coming back wednesday too
cause you know i’m a good boy

but all this doing the walk
oh i’m really only chasing (her)
this good i’ve done
with the wrong motivation

i stayed to help fold the chairs
cause she was there
i carried groceries up the stairs
cause she’d be there

i’m passing out Bibles on the street
cause she is there
and i’m at a meeting – on my knees
to offer up my most selfish prayers

all this doing the walk
oh i’m really only chasing (her)
this good i’ve done
with the wrong motivation

there is a reason

Posted on by under God, Struggles

give me some worry
give me some pain
give me something
so i can complain

every truth i ignore
every knock on locked doors
every time i take a fall
there’s a reason for it all

give me some sleep
give me some peace
give me a freedom
a taste of release

every sin i hide
all the times i lied
every time i take a fall
there’s a reason for it all