Category Archives: Silly Songs
the distraction
acting embarrassed, you entered the room
but every guy noticed like you wanted him to
so hot air conditioner turned on
you move like wind – quickly gone
a couple of guys were elbowed in the ribs
but they said, “darling, i don’t find her attractive!”
even the trees bend to give you shade
and for once this concrete was glad it got laid
you’re not the kind of girl boys take home
more like the kind of girl they follow
women hurt men
cliches are annoying, only when they’re true
sometimes we don’t want to be told what to do
just leave me alone till i come find you
i know you care, i know you’re there for me
history teaches lessons that every man must learn
standing over ashes of bridges we once burned
i know love will find me if i just wait my turn
there’s fish in the sea, but none for me
there is a reason women are feared
it is no myth or legend
there is a reason women are feared
women hurt men….just friends
everybody brags about the traffic in their town
we look to have it worse so we can be proud to stick around
look, i made it through so nothing can take me down
there’s always mistakes in the chances we take
at best i have a history to tell on late nights
of making up only to prepare for the next fight
even when she’s wrong, she still feels so right
she broke my heart, she ripped me apart
there is a reason women are feared
it is no myth or legend
there is a reason women are feared
women hurt men….just friends
love song
love me so i can write a love song
they say to write what you know
so i write about pain
kiss me so i can write about you
a song to make people smile
instead of walk away
but i don’t know
why you treat me like you do
i don’t know
why i let you
miss me when i’m walking away
and when i get to the door
why don’t you beg me to stay
love me so i can write a love song
they say to write what you know
so this song is about pain
midterms
i don’t know
i don’t care
i don’t wanna be here
i don’t know
i don’t care
i don’t wanna be here
take me away
can’t you take me away
(la la la la)
this is a hard test
i’m not at my best (forgrive me)
this is a hard test
i’m not at my best (forgive me)
take me away
won’t you take me away
(la la la la)
i’m not gonna pass
this is kicking my
i needed an A
i’m not gonna pass
this is kicking my
i needed an A
there’s no way
now there’s just no way
(la la la la)
i take my scantron
and i’m gone
i don’t turn it in
i take my scantron
and i’m gone
i’ll take it again
take me away
i’ll say i was sick today
oh brother
my eyes are closed but they don’t make
the world around me disappear
all of the twists – all of the chances
and i had to end up here
no man can hoard all of his feelings
and cover his vulnerable heart
still there’s that shame in falling
so we hide it from the start
but she – she was almost worth the risk
i saw her as no other
and now – she confesses her feelings
she loves me – like her brother?
her words carry off in an echo
like some punishment that i deserve
cause i had hoped to tell her
but i never had the nerve
and i’m stuck here with a smile
though i know that it’s our end
cause one things for sure -if we won’t be more
we will have to be less (than) friends
our conservation has ended
but we think of some reason to stay
over the phone – so close
so far away
the real me
i stop at red lights and 4 am in the morning
look both ways and heed my mother’s warnings
a smile for a stranger – forgiveness for a friend
follow the golden rule – right up till the end
from a distance you can see my front
know it’s more than some weak stunt
you’ll believe i am humble
just spend my time – you’ll hear a rumble
see my cool exterior
is a skin i shed at night
there’s a monster in your midst
that i keep hidden out of sight
i will never let him show
for fear you’d come to know
the real me
i’ve never hit a man with glasses
even with my fists though some have asked it
never been caught red-handed (more than once or twice)
i’m willing to help if you ask really nice
all American guy – family values and pie
real man, tough, sensitive,don’t cry
willing to admit – i can’t approach perfection
if only to attract affection
pack & mail
well hello there
this is pack ‘n’ mail
well, where are you coming from?
see we’re two lights up
or maybe two lights down
but please don’t come around
yeah like i said
we both pack AND mail
are we can do either one
just bring it in
and just let me see
but please don’t wait till i’m done
cause it’s six oclock in the pack’n’mail
and i’m sweepin’ the floor
oh it’s six oclock in the pack’n’mail
and you can’t stop me from closin’ the store
yes sir – oh-
we have boxes
just tell me what’s your pleasure
i can’t go by this
or by that big
i need numbers – by guess or measure
oh yes sir,
we do overnight
it’s just that you’re way too late
hurry up,
what’s your plan B
there ain’t no way i’m gonna wait
cause it’s six oclock in the pack’n’mail
and i’m sweepin’ the floor
oh it’s six oclock in the pack’n’mail
and you can’t stop me from closin’ the store
yes man, we have stamps
cause your ltr doesn’t have enough
oh you’ll have to buy another one?
all i can say is tough
i can sell you some of that bubblewrap
and tape from off the shelf
and you may wanna buy some tape too
cause you’ll have to pack in by yourself
cause it’s six oclock in the pack’n’mail
and i’m sweepin’ the floor
oh it’s six oclock in the pack’n’mail
and you can’t stop me from closin’ the store
letourneau’s lonley hearts hunters club
when I came to college
i said here is my chance
to finally try my hand
at romance
but all the girls went underground
i’m just trying to track them down
in class there are so many
i don’t know what to say
but when i get the guts
the bell rings and they run away
walking down to saga
she looks pretty she looks sweet
then she turns around and
oh-wait that’s Pete
it’s my night for a stakeout
so i camp out on the berm
i don’t see any women
just a couple a million germs
a groups reported sighted
so we’re going out tonight
to wander all around and ok
stalk until daylight
We know all the differences
Between the two genders
Yeah that’s the only test
For our new members
A Boy Named Tim
well this here’s a story about a boy named Tim
he lived next door to me but i barely knew him
he said things that made him sound like the coolest boy alive
i remember one time he bought me lunch down at the Hive (food, that is)
Tim spent all night talking on the phone to his girl
he told me about a concert that he claimed would rock my world
he told me pizzas weren’t so very far
so he and i drove there in a stolen car (sorry, Brian)
the next thing i know Tim’s in a bit of trouble
the administration’s trying to burst his self inflated bubble
he tried to shrug it off and say, “i’m so cool”
but everyone around was saying, “Tim, you’re a fool”
Tim is gone now – he’s not here no more
that’s just fine with me ’cause i broke my hand running into his door
now he’s gone and i don’t miss him
and that’s all i have to say about the boy named Tim