Category Archives: Struggles

standing still

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God, Struggles

i’m a leaf caught in the wind
surrendering the all of me
to the breezes of these times
i miss the security of the tree

i don’t want divine rejection
i want to be right at first
but with every choice it’s harder
to imagine things much worse

so maybe i want pity
cause i’m lost without His will
can i be running from God
standing still?

i’m so afraid of hearing no
that i doubt i’ll hear a yes
it’s a mystery why some He shelters
and others aren’t so blessed

but a powerful God should know that
my heart cries out so pure
the deepest sorrow from the sick
is the existence of lost cures

so maybe i want pity
cause i’m lost without God’s will
can i be running from Him
standing still

many will say i’m choosing
a blindness to the signs
many will tell me give to God
what i still must hold to be mine

just don’t lie

Posted on by under friends, Struggles

i can see something surfacing
it’s in the way you sigh
but i’m bothered the silence
cause you’re just being polite

i would rather nurse hurt feelings
than suffer a broken heart
i would sooner you wound my pride
than fear we’ll always be apart

honestly, i want someone to be honest with me
i’ve dealt with fantasy, give me reality
don’t mind the tears in my eyes – just don’t lie

the conversation is over
but no one’s said goodbye
i’m waiting for some reason
as the seconds tick on by

it’s not right to keep it in
tell me what i need to hear
don’t hide it under laughter
don’t don’t worry about my fears

there is a reason

Posted on by under God, Struggles

give me some worry
give me some pain
give me something
so i can complain

every truth i ignore
every knock on locked doors
every time i take a fall
there’s a reason for it all

give me some sleep
give me some peace
give me a freedom
a taste of release

every sin i hide
all the times i lied
every time i take a fall
there’s a reason for it all

when it’s not easy

Posted on by under Faith, God, Struggles

how long can you endure the silence
and still trust your ears
how long can you waste away your days
till you lose track of the years

and when the good times turn bad
who is to blame?
well i ask for help and faith
to easy the sting of pain

it’s quiet when i listen
should i look for a sign?
i can’t base it all on feelings
on answers i can’t find
i know God knows things I cannot see
so I’ll trust Him even when it’s not easy

i have to believe God sees me cry
i want to believe He cares
when everyone is moving away
it’s hard to think He’s there

i’m jealous of the former slaves
that walked across Red Sea
and I can’t help but wonder
why God doesn’t do that stuff for me

it’s quiet when i listen
should i look for a sign?
i can’t base it all on feelings
on answers i can’t find
i know God knows things I cannot see
so I’ll trust Him even when it’s not easy

all this doubt makes my faith more true
i have promises and history to see me through

what i’m talking about

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, Faith, God, Struggles

another night has seen it’s day
another empty plea for company
am i just blind to the blessings out there?
or is something wrong with my prayers?

i follow rules when i study
hope You’ll lead me where to read
and Your words land like a stone
it’s not good for me to be alone

You are the truth i find hard to believe
are my granted wishes so far up Your sleeve?
maybe it’s too much to ask, too much to doubt
but i know You know what i’m talking about

You came to earth on a mission
save the lost at life’s cost
You endured the desert sun
and though You had 12, they chose to run

and Sunday school – it has taught me
God’s love falls from above
but searching this sky for rain
left me thirsty and weak from pain

You are the truth i find hard to believe
are my granted wishes so far up Your sleeve?
maybe it’s too much to ask, too much to doubt
but i know You know what i’m talking about

follow the rain

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God, My Favorites, Struggles

this land i claim is hostile to me
yet i claim it’s my home

this land i claim bears no fruit anymore
yet i call it home

should i follow the rain
wherever it may lead?
should i follow what i want
or what i need?
should i follow the rain
wherever it may lead?
abandon what i want for what i need?

so i go out in the fields
and pray to a God a can’t feel

i know i feel a push to leave
but do You push without a pull to lead?

should i follow the rain
wherever it may lead?
should i follow what i want
or what i need?
should i follow the rain
wherever it may lead?
abandon what i want for what i need?

no more west

Posted on by under Struggles


hitch up the wagons
we’re headed west
out where i man can meet his test (yeah)

bid farewell
to the house the city
as they say, “it’s such a pity” (yeah)

we’re driving across the land
holding the reigns with both hands
we’re staring into the sunset
but there’s no more west

stop at the shoreline
time to sink or swim
and the dusk is growing dim

we’ve been here before
times were hard, we were soft
but every cliff we came to, we never had to jump off

at dawn we see what we’ve passed
a land of brave and free
and we can’t quite come to believe
this is our destiny

deliverance

Posted on by under God, Struggles

 

I read
You said
I’ll deliver you

I read
You said
I’ll be the one to pull you through
but that was back with Moses
and all those Hebrews
back then they had the plagues
how could they lose

but i could use some of that deliverance now

standing on the shores
of an ocean all my own
when will i ever learn

God please part the waters
I can’t cross over alone
Bridges that i thought you said to burn

 

time’s gone by
since their cry
but you sent your son to save
this ocean won’t part
but you’re here in my heart
and i’m standing on the waves
i can see how Peter did it
I can’t keep my eyes on you
just when i think i’ve got it
you’re not in my view
but i could use some of that deliverance now

standing on the waves
of an ocean all my own
when will i ever learn

God please part the waters
I can’t cross over alone
Bridges that I thought you said burn

 

Jesus, My Deliver
See me – in this land
My soul cries for freedom
Only found in your hand
 

 

thank you

Posted on by under Faith, God, Struggles


God stop me if You’ve heard
these painful desperate words
but this life it seems so rotten
is there something You’ve forgotten?

i lack enough to curse what i keep
but own enough to let me sleep
sometimes when i feel stripped bare
i wonder why You just don’t care

but God thank you for this day
thank you for this season
thank you – even though
I can’t think of a reason

i watch those in Your pleasure
sporting more than i can measure
and while i feel so out of touch
i’ve never needed You so much

there’s a couple at my table
and i don’t think I’m able
to believe there’s one for me
and I won’t always be this lonely

God thank You for this day
Thank You for Your promise
Thank you – You wanna prosper me
it won’t always be like this

better than the belly of a whale

Posted on by under God, Struggles

 

engine off – i have arrived
in a land i will never leave
open the door – out to explore
but God i can hardly breathe

is this my destination
the map was not too clear
this land is cruel and i’m out of fuel
guess i’m stuck here

but God, i cry for You now
rescue me, or show me how
how this is not a fail
how this is better than the belly of a whale

do i have a mission?
or should i already know
it’s so strange that i have changed
still have to be told where to go

so i’ll reach out to the lost
though i don’t really feel that found
i will not tame or abandon my claim
to my flag in the ground

 

well i’m supposed to be too old to cry
i’m supposed to be too wise for why
but the struggle for what is true
God it seems harder than running from You