i choose you

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God


should i throw back practiced lines
just repeating things i’ve heard
or should i stay quiet until
you send a word?

i don’t think i can hear you
i don’t know to fear you
i don’t think i can hear you

i don’t know how to love you, Jesus
i don’t know how to love myself
love is just a word to me, Jesus
a secret no one ever tells

can you calm these storms?
cause i’m so scared, i’m so scared
when you do calm these storms
i’ll know you’re there
i’ll know you’re there

but is that all i want from you?
just stone hard concrete proof?
can i choose you?
can i choose you?

can i say you tell the truth
without the proof?

can you calm these storms?
either way, i choose you

audible songs

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God


what if each day was a treasure to find?
and there were no curtains to hide behind
could i just believe in you?
take one thing as undoubtedly true?

what if everyone automatically knew
and didn’t have to make excuses for You?
is it a sin to seek audible songs?
come in a cloud and tell me i’m wrong

sometimes it gets so hard
to remember
i love you

i collect the answers to pick and choose
what truth is out there that i can’t abuse
stands on its own even misunderstood
would i even admit it if i could

no, i would make it a choice of desires
share in your sorrows or stay warm by the fire
i chase a world that can’t offer me more
than what you give, what i ignore

your reasons

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God

i’d give you the best of me
if i wasn’t so afraid of what you’d do
i say you know what’s best for me
but i act like that’s true

in dark rooms i wrestle with you
you unleash your obvious truth
deep down i know the answer too
all i’m asking for is proof

i think of your reasons for loving me
clashing with your invisibility
but they’re one and the same
you bear the blame
it is my choice to see

like an animal who’s spent his life
safe in captivity
sometimes i wish that you had
never set me free

the world is meaner than i can stand
you say you have a place
i wish you’d lead me by the hand
but you want to be chased

worth it

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, Faith, God, Struggles

am i led into the desert
or do i go there on my own?

do i have to swing so hard
to get water from a stone

i can’t see a burning bush
i can’t see your signs
i wish you’d come and tell me
something that i can’t deny

say you love me
tell me i’m beautiful
say you love me
tell me i’m beautiful
tell me i’m worth it.

i would sit right by the fire
they’d ask me and i would deny

and i’d stand back in the corner
till i put a finger in your side

the distraction

Posted on by under Girls, My Favorites, Silly Songs

acting embarrassed, you entered the room
but every guy noticed like you wanted him to
so hot air conditioner turned on
you move like wind – quickly gone

a couple of guys were elbowed in the ribs
but they said, “darling, i don’t find her attractive!”
even the trees bend to give you shade
and for once this concrete was glad it got laid

you’re not the kind of girl boys take home
more like the kind of girl they follow

only one to blame

Posted on by under Girls, My Favorites, Sad

she wept upon my shoulder
she whispered in my ear
i saw the oceans swelling
in her tears

she hugged me and she warned me
she’d never feel the same
i took the touch over the truth
i am the only one to blame.

let him

Posted on by under Girls, Hope, My Favorites, Sad

let him run his fingers through your hair
let him sing to you a song
when you’re afraid, you’ll try to run away
let him tell you that you’re wrong

let him kiss you full upon the mouth
let him brush against your breast (take away your breath)
show him hints of heaven
let him seek to find the rest

let him squeeze your thigh and smile
let him call himself your man
and all along you sweetly
let him fall into your hand

let him talk to you till morning
let him love till the end
and when you find a newer flavor
let him be then just a friend

let him take you out on friday night
let him make you so happy
but you’ll realize he’s not the one
let him lead you straight to me

if i believed you

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God


if i loved you
i meant REALLY loved you
wouldn’t i want to make you happy?
wouldn’t i feel more than i can explain?
if i loved you
wouldn’t i change?

if i trusted you
i mean REALLY trusted
would i be so afraid of the future?
would i make excuses for what has been said
if i trusted you for daily bread?

if i believed you
then i’d need you
if i saw in you
what i have praised
would i let your name fall
loosely from my tongue?

if i truly meant what i never say
if i chased the light of the ending day
would you see the hunger, desire
if i loved you more than i love the fire

if i loved you i would chase
if i trusted i’d dance
if i believed i would laugh
they say such things are mere chance!

drown in the streams

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God, Hope, Struggles

 


there’s a voice in my head muttering, “God, no”
there’s a voice in my head shouting, “i told you so”
and all of my choices have led me to this
imagine all chances i’ve missed
to make something of what i’ve seen
but i let hope get the best of me
i let hope get the best of me

and the truth is i can’t really see
what is or is not best for me
my deepest feelings
my secret dreams
love is the ocean
but i drown in the streams

all of my choices have led me to this
God, you know everything i’ve missed
when i let hope get the best of me

9/11/02

Posted on by under Death

so many stories remain untold
hidden by crumbling walls
cut short phone calls
eighty story falls

we trade these imaginations
of unwitnessed scenes
over pennsylvania green
top floors and in between

this earth absorbs the stories
no tongue will ever form
it weeps them from the storm
when september nights are warm