thirsty

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, Faith, God, Struggles


i’m useless
i’m sad and ashamed
i’d rather shed selfish tears
than speak Your name

but nothing around here
reminds me of You
taking a scapel to myths
i wanted to be true

but i won’t sing those songs
unless i mean amazing grace
but more than your voice
i want You to put me in my place

i’m thirsty, Lord
give me a taste (of the reason for pain) i’ll go on again
i’m thirsty, Lord
lift up my chin in this rain

i’ve heard it said before
thinking men get nothing done
when i finally find the will to fight
i find the enemies won

but i survive, and they look down
i’m all wrapped up in my hypocrisy
forgive me for falling so far
and taking Your name down with me

thank You for the drought
You knew a flood would have me think
that i deserve these gifts
when i’m just begging for a drink

time it takes

Posted on by under Getting Over It, Girls, Sad

i tell myself lies in the light of every day
when i swear that this will go away
in four months, in an afternoon
in the time it takes to say ‘I Do.’

can’t tell a story without an ending
i keep reading  signals you aren’t sending
but i know i will get over you
in the time it takes to say ‘I Do.’

such a thing as love

Posted on by under Girls, Love

how does the heart of man get so hardened
on a wish that once was faint
now it’s pounding out a rhythm
how does the sinner dance with the saint

yet we find when the music ends
all we’re left with his a handful of friends

i want someone who knows me best
the sun always returns to the west
if there’s such a thing as love
what does it feel like when it’s true?

if there’s such a thing as love
is it how i feel for you?

if it were up to me

Posted on by under friends, Struggles

i don’t know why
you’re lonely tonight
if it were up to me
you’d be happy

they say that you need to trust
they say it like it’s easy
but i know how hard it is
to believe

they say gettin’ all you want
won’t make you happy in the end
but what if all you want
is to be happy with a friend?

rainmakers

Posted on by under Death, Struggles

watch the water claim the valley
hear all the rainmaker’s brag
we finally got what we asked for
now we can’t give it back

like a scar on young skin
we will pay for our mistakes
thunder rumbles
as the last time crumbles

nature is more thief than giver
another town joins the river

overtake me

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, Faith, God, Struggles

heaven, i’m hiding in the garden
ashamed of what i’ve given away
i’m only a slave to strong emotion
crouching in the darkness of day

drag me out to face You
for sins i can’t deny
but You call me, You invite me
You let me choose to lie

overtake me and break me
put me together again
overtake me and break me
put me together again

heaven, i’d running far from you
chasing the desires of my heart
i’m afraid that all the plans i made
won’t save me when we’re apart

i’ve come to think that it’s my way
to chase the passion calling me
but it’s you who’s whispering my name
relentlessly

no

Posted on by under Getting Over It, Girls, Sad


you ask me if we can be friends
i did not think that i’d hear from you again
cause lately all we do is argue
i’ve tried to so hard to hate you

but your voice is a potion in my ear
with the words i never dreamed i’d hear
you miss me, you want me around
you know i’ll never let you down

but no
i love you too much
to just keep in touch
we’ll never be
what we were before
my heart will always want more
no.

i’m so afraid that i’ll push you away
more afraid you’ll quietly say
it’s ok, i understand, i’ll leave you alone
i’m afraid, wish you’d say…

no
you mean too much
to simply lose touch
maybe we’ll never be
what we were before
maybe God plans so much more
no.

i love you, but

Posted on by under Getting Over It, Girls, My Favorites, Sad


it’s not the dress you wanted when you dreamed
it’s not new and it has torn seams
but you where it like cinderella’s gown
i swear your feet don’t even touch the ground

look at that face, i can’t look away
your blue eyes are anchored in comfort grey
the questions are gone from your smile
the answer’s at the end of the aisle

i know how long you’ve waited for today
women wish for the games that girls play
i know you too well to doubt what i see
he makes you happy

he’s not the prince charming your mom foretold
but love at first sight is the first to go cold
i close my eyes, though it’s ok to stare
did you choose him just because he was there?

i didn’t chase my dream, chase you away
i let you go thinking you’d come back to stay
every risk needs someone to lose
and baby, hope was so easy to choose

so i’m here to see with my own eyes
i hope something inside me dies
something that avoids despair
i still love you, but he was there

i love you but,

he makes you happy.

cement

Posted on by under Girls, Love, Sad

 

sure, he’s simple
a one dimensional man
and all his letters
you understand

you want a guy
solid like stone
like he’s better off here
alone

but i want to be temporary
until you make your mark on me
a fingerprint in wet cement
make me permanent

i don’t have a dream
to follow at all cost
i just dream of you
without you i am lost

none of my stories make sense
you are the missing ending
you want a real man
and i’m just pretending

blue tie

Posted on by under Death, My Favorites


a guy in a blue tie told me you had died
i didn’t believe him but i sat right down and cried
he said he was sorry, he said that he would stay
he put a hand on my shoulder and i cussed it away

i was angry at him, but i don’t know why
he told me the truth when most men would have lied
i’m sorry now for the things i said
to the man who told me you were dead

there are so many questions, i say i’m fine
besides you lies this heart of mine
but i can’t feel, and i asked God
to give me the sorrow to keep you
as close tomorrow

your mom isn’t crying , isn’t that strange
your dad is different, yeah, everything’s changed
the preacher says you’re in a better place
they painted a smile on your face

there are so many questions
i saw i’m fine
beside you lies this
heart of mine