when it’s not easy

Posted on by under Faith, God, Struggles

how long can you endure the silence
and still trust your ears
how long can you waste away your days
till you lose track of the years

and when the good times turn bad
who is to blame?
well i ask for help and faith
to easy the sting of pain

it’s quiet when i listen
should i look for a sign?
i can’t base it all on feelings
on answers i can’t find
i know God knows things I cannot see
so I’ll trust Him even when it’s not easy

i have to believe God sees me cry
i want to believe He cares
when everyone is moving away
it’s hard to think He’s there

i’m jealous of the former slaves
that walked across Red Sea
and I can’t help but wonder
why God doesn’t do that stuff for me

it’s quiet when i listen
should i look for a sign?
i can’t base it all on feelings
on answers i can’t find
i know God knows things I cannot see
so I’ll trust Him even when it’s not easy

all this doubt makes my faith more true
i have promises and history to see me through

what i’m talking about

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, Faith, God, Struggles

another night has seen it’s day
another empty plea for company
am i just blind to the blessings out there?
or is something wrong with my prayers?

i follow rules when i study
hope You’ll lead me where to read
and Your words land like a stone
it’s not good for me to be alone

You are the truth i find hard to believe
are my granted wishes so far up Your sleeve?
maybe it’s too much to ask, too much to doubt
but i know You know what i’m talking about

You came to earth on a mission
save the lost at life’s cost
You endured the desert sun
and though You had 12, they chose to run

and Sunday school – it has taught me
God’s love falls from above
but searching this sky for rain
left me thirsty and weak from pain

You are the truth i find hard to believe
are my granted wishes so far up Your sleeve?
maybe it’s too much to ask, too much to doubt
but i know You know what i’m talking about

so obvious

Posted on by under Girls, Hope, Love

do i dare even open my mouth
to tell her she looks nice today
do i dare even open my mouth
i don’t know what to say

do i dare even look at her now
she can see through my lies
do i dare risk eye contact now
she can see the truth in my eyes

it must be – so obvious
it must be – so obvious
i’ve never been good at saying
just how i feel

do i dare share my heart
can i handle a no?
do i dare share a secret
that she surely already knows?

do i dare push her away
maybe it’s God’s plan
do i dare? no i can’t
she was meant for this man

it must be – so obvious
it must be – so obvious
i’ve never been good at saying
just how i feel

she sighs

Posted on by under Girls, Love, Sad

romance novels in the afternoon
she’s wasting time and wishes
she tells herself maybe someday soon
she’ll find all she misses

the phone rings for her twice again
another friend is making plan
i start to dial and hang up and then
ask what she’d want with this man

and i know we all fall short of glory
she is closest in my eyes
but even when the sun in shining
she sighs

locked doors in the early night
i’m not going out there
i’d be lying if i said i might
be invited anywhere

i know where all my faults lie
don’t have to show me twice
how can she be flawed as i
when she always seems so nice

and i know we all fall short of glory
but she is closest in my eyes
even when the sun is shining
she sighs

follow the rain

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God, My Favorites, Struggles

this land i claim is hostile to me
yet i claim it’s my home

this land i claim bears no fruit anymore
yet i call it home

should i follow the rain
wherever it may lead?
should i follow what i want
or what i need?
should i follow the rain
wherever it may lead?
abandon what i want for what i need?

so i go out in the fields
and pray to a God a can’t feel

i know i feel a push to leave
but do You push without a pull to lead?

should i follow the rain
wherever it may lead?
should i follow what i want
or what i need?
should i follow the rain
wherever it may lead?
abandon what i want for what i need?

find myself falling

Posted on by under Girls, Love

i don’t know where you came from
but i know where this is going
i could find myself falling in love tonight

we’re talking more than normal
our words are passing friendship standards
my heart is beating at the speed of light

when are we going to let ourselves fall in love
how long till our shallow words rise above
i know what you’re thinking, you can read my mind
so let’s let ourselves fall in love tonight

you’re all i think about
i analyze your every move
i think you’re perfect in every way

i’m running out of reasons
for a friendly night out on the town
truth is i just have to see you again

when are we going to let ourselves fall in love
how long till our shallow words rise above
i know what you’re thinking, you can read my mind
so let’s let ourselves fall in love tonight

the real me

Posted on by under Silly Songs

i stop at red lights and 4 am in the morning
look both ways and heed my mother’s warnings
a smile for a stranger – forgiveness for a friend
follow the golden rule – right up till the end

from a distance you can see my front
know it’s more than some weak stunt
you’ll believe i am humble
just spend my time – you’ll hear a rumble

see my cool exterior
is a skin i shed at night
there’s a monster in your midst
that i keep hidden out of sight
i will never let him show
for fear you’d come to know
the real me

i’ve never hit a man with glasses
even with my fists though some have asked it
never been caught red-handed (more than once or twice)
i’m willing to help if you ask really nice

all American guy – family values and pie
real man, tough, sensitive,don’t cry
willing to admit – i can’t approach perfection
if only to attract affection

that way

Posted on by under Girls, Sad

i guess we have to talk
there’s no where left to walk
we have too much to discuss

i’m on the battlefield
and i’ve lowered my shield
will you wait till i trust (to swing your sword)

yeah the rumors are true
i’ve feelings for you
now what will you say?

it’s foreign to me
so i guess i can see
how you don’t think of my that way

now i’m weak in the knees
i’m prepared to say please
if the answer is no i’ll move on somehow

you can laugh if you will
but i’m serious still
all my dreams are awakened now

yeah the rumors are true
i have fallen for you
now what will you say?

i’m new to this and
i will understand
if you don’t think of me that way

will you say, “i love you”
will you ask if i’m through
it comes as shock to me too
but the rumors are true
i’ve feelings for you

tears from cloudy skies

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God

i bury what i want to say
deep under my breath
and i watch the clock just like
i’m marking time of death

but the rains are washing way
the layers of my lies
erosion to emotion
tears from cloudy skies

and i say ‘i’m sorry’ – you’ve heard it before
and i say ‘it’s over’ – you know there’ll be more
still you let me in from the storm

i apologize for what i’ve done
and what i soon will do
i can’t see what’s best for me
sometimes i hide from  you

the wind will bring me back
all creation tells me, “stay!”
the sky ignites in blue
warning me, “don’t run away”

and i say ‘i’m sorry’ – you’ve heard it before
and i say ‘it’s over’ – you know there’ll be more
still you let me in from the storm

this is the peace i wanted
this is the feeling i’ve found
heart poured from love
with a sky up above – a blue sky

raising me from the dead

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, Faith, God

i’ve walked on the edge and fallen too
i’ve never landed far from You
You pick me up off the ground

i’ve run and hid from Your will
hands over my ears i hear You still
i get lost, but i’m found

i am a child – please teach me how to grow
i am alive – but i act like i don’t know
that you – are raising me from the dead

i’ve sat by the fire denying Your name
i’ve swallowed the truth and hid Your flame

i’ve prayed for things i shouldn’t get
i’ve taken for granted things You haven’t given yet

but when i ask you forgive it all…

i am a child – please teach me how to grow
i am alive – but i act like i don’t know
that you – are raising me from the dead