because he loves them

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God

 


five o’clock on friday
he’s headed to get his kids
stop lights and trains slow him
and he frowns as he skids

’cause two weeks have ticked by
and he hates being alone
so he smiles as he pulls in front
of what used to be his home

and the kids yell back to mom
do we really have to go
cause it’s no fun, a waste of time
and we love you more, you know

(chorus)
they don’t really mean to hurt him
but they do it the same
but he hides his tears behind his eyes
and he calls them out by name (because he loves them)

9 am on sunday
He’s waiting for his kids
in the auction for their time
He finally has the highest bid

cause all week he was there
but they acted all alone
finally their parking in front
of a building they call his home

they whisper to themselves
do we really have to go
cause it’s no fun, a waste of time
and it’s nothing that we don’t already know

we have divorced ourselves
from the only one who truly cares
all week he’s by our side
and we pretend that he is not there

these times

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God, Struggles


i came here a simple boy
and i’m leaving about the same
but i’ve grown to love some things
that i thought i’d never tame

i used to sleep reluctantly
for i did not what to know
the things that lie ahead
but now I wait on tomorrow

for these times can change a man
God don’t let my ego out grow your hand
oh these times can change a man
so God don’t let my ego outgrow your hand

when i run to you hold me close
out of harms way
hold me tighter still tell me to stay
when i try to run away

(bridge)
this time has changed me
but God don’t let me live my life in captivity
this time has moved me but
right back there with you is where i long to be

I came here a simple boy
Just following your call
now i’m an individual
who can’t hear your voice at all

rusty

Posted on by under Silly Songs

i found out today that my dog died
don’t worry, it was his time to go
i just wish it hadn’t taken to so long
i even had to reload

it must have been Old Yeller
that movie messed with my head
one second i just watching it
and the next my dog was dead

old yeller killed my dog
i thought it was pretend
old yeller killed my dog
now i have no more best friend
old yeller killed my dog
that movie messed with my head
subconsciously

i put it on pause just to get a snack
how was i to know everything was gonna turn south
what a shock when i got back
my dog was foaming at the mouth

i took him out back just like the movie
’cause he must have been rabid
that movie never mentioned
drooling could be just a bad habit

i try

Posted on by under God, Struggles

i try to be honest
but sometimes i lie
i try to be fair
but i have judgmental eye

i try to be friendly
but sometimes i’m mean
i try to keep my wickedness
to myself and unseen

and i try to act like i don’t hear when people say…things
i try to act like their words don’t sting

that’s right i’m not feeling alright tonight
that’s right everything is not ok
did you see me when i cried – did you happen to hear me sigh
oh i can’t keep anything from you…
but i try

i try to be good
but i always turn up bad
i try to be happy
but it always makes me mad

i try to ignore
all my faults all my needs
but it’s hard to forget
what everyone else can see

i try to believe these chains they set me free
i try to act like it doesn’t bother me

oh i don’t see you cryin’ here with me
oh i don’t see you dyin’ here with me
why can’t i see you died for me?

just being a friend

Posted on by under Girls, Love


you must know i love you
my hidden signals must clear
but your silence is bewildering
that’s your answer I fear

i gave you my heart some time ago
wanting yours in return
but i can’t fathom your rejection
it’s a lesson i can’t afford to learn

when will you see you love me
when will my wandering end
you’ll run to my arms and I can stop
just being a friend

i was doing just fine tonight
till you walked through the door
now i find it hard to concentrate
as you stroll across the floor

well i steal quick glances across the room
you notice and my heart explodes
i say, “Hello” and “How are you”
but what i really want to know

just for today

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, Faith, God, Struggles


God the battle’s really hard these days
when one falls there’s no one there to take her place
and another leaves this world still lost
some decide it’s too high a cost

God I’m getting tired of this
have the prayers i’ve sent up missed?
You say I’ll sing to You for all eternity
but from where I sit it’s hard to see — why

i want to praise you forever
but i can’t see that far

so i will – just for today
for this day – this day that you have made
I will praise you – just for today

God show me where to turn
lite my soul and let it burn
i miss the fire that raged in me
the warmth, the light others could see

You say You’re here I know You are
but it feels like You’re some distant star
open my eyes to see You’re light
’cause in this darkness I lose my sight

A Small God

Posted on by under God

during the forest fires in Mexico, May of ’97 – aggieland was
blanketed in a dark heavy fog – driving home one day i noticed
the sun looked very much like a full moon.

passion burns
in the land to the south
and the smoke is chokin’ me dead

it rolled into town
just yesterday
and found a home in my head

this thick blanket
keeps me warm
but it’s the middle of june

so i’m kickin’ it off
to greet the dawn
but the sun looks more like the moon

i know that my God is big enough to fear
but how can He be small enough to hear
that i’m needing some change to change my mind
cause i’m thinking of leaving it all behind
and i’m lying when i say that i’m just fine

armies with no flags
are massing at my borders
i’m fighting an unseen war for law and order

i don’t need to know their homes
to know what they want with me
i offer as a living sacrifice to the God I also cannot see

i know that my God is big enough to fear
but how can He be small enough to hear
that i’m needing some peace to peace my mind
and i’m thinking of leaving it all behind
and i’m lying when i say that i’m just fine

einstein to a child

Posted on by under Faith, God

 


don’t try to teach me
i’ve got nothing to learn
got everything figured out
got knowledge to burn
there’s nothing you could say
that i don’t already know
so don’t waste your words on me
feel free to go
what’s that you say you love me
well i can’t believe my ears
you say you want to help / heal me
and wipe away my tears

it’s like mozart to a deaf man
it’s like eistein to a child
i do not know why you do what you do
but sometimes it makes me smile
you tell me that you love me
i sure don’t know why
but i choose to believe so come
and save my life

i don’t know why you love me
can’t because i’m worthy
i don’t deserve it because
of what i have and haven’t done

i could spend my whole life
pondering till i knew
that the only thing that matters is
you do
what’s that you say you love me
well that’s music to my ears
you say you want to help / heal me
and wipe away my tears

it’s like mozart to a deaf man
it’s like eistein to a child
i do not know why you do what you do
but sometimes it makes me smile
you tell me that you love me
i sure don’t know why
but i choose to believe so come
and save my life