written while watching familes searching for the missing after September 11th
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Tag Archives: my stuff
goodnight, christy
goodnight christy
wherever you are
out chasing falling stars
may God keep you
safe from harm
all wrapped up in His arms
goodnight, goodnight
blue eyes
blond hair
and your skin so fair
beautiful
on your own
but you are not alone
writhing
find my hope weak and writhing
begging for a drink
wounded in the battle
‘tween what i feel and what i think
break it, kill it, leave it for dead
it’s too far gone to fantasy
i wish for against reality
i hope for what will never be
i’ve tried to heal and save it
but the wounds have passed straight through
i’m defenseless to the memory
of loving you
thousand times
whispers of reminders
must convince me that you’re gone
you’re there when i sleep
but escape before the dawn
i cling to the dreams
as they are quick to fade
your memories are shadows
as i step out of the shade
how much time will it take to heal
and fix this way i’m forced to feel
i feel you near, but you’ve gone away
a thousand times a day
i pray for distraction
but refuse to forget
i’m anchored by my hope
i’m not ready yet
to see the truth i hide from
surrender to what i’ve denied
there must be a reason for
all the tears i’ve cried
missed in me
if i could look into your eyes
maybe it would all be clear
but if i saw through your disguise
you still wouldn’t stay here
you have to leave to chase your dreams
i have to stay and watch mine go
you can’t afford to give me hope
i can’t let you know…
i always hoped you cared for me
but i loved how you were so carefree
i’m hopelessly hopeful that someday you’ll see
everything you missed in me
what thought can i scribble down
to send you in this postcard
a picture of what you left behind
and me pretending life isn’t hard
i guess i’m no good at secrets
still don’t know what to say
i think of you, i pray for you
i hope you are ok
if you hurt me again
i whispered goodbye when you went away
between us there was nothing to say
now you’re back with all your lessons learned
to rebuild bridges burned
your smile is gone, your laugh is weak
it seems titanic has sprung a leak
everyone that used to carry you through
now they don’t believe you
but i can’t be your friend
if you’ll hurt me again
you’re picking up pieces of your plans
salvage your hope, do what you can
you have your stories, but you don’t want to tell
rumor has it you’re not well
we’re cold hearted monsters to just sit by
while you close your eyes and cry
but i’ve wiped away those tears before
i don’t want to do it anymore
cope with you
i hope you’re happy
no, really, i do
i’ll try pretending
that i don’t miss you
they call me a fool
and i can’t argue
they say i’m hopeless
i guess that’s true
there are lessons i refuse to learn
there are bridges i refuse to burn
as long as there is hope
i will cope with you
i paid for your flight
to see your boyfriend
i still don’t know why
but i’d do it again
you keep me up late
just to ask my advice
i’d do it for you
but you just think i’m nice
bittersweet
bittersweet is the day
sunshine with a shadow
this is time for a smile
but we can’t stop for sorrow
and i have no words to rise above
the feelings, my love
i dont know what to say
so won’t you pray
i’m not ok
laughter covers the silence
we find excuses to talk away
i’m left here with my bags packed
and the urge to stay
over my shoulder
you’re crying your tears now
wounded from what i’ve done
i swear it’s over
it’s just begun
i’m feeling real guilty
i swear i’m not to blame
see i’m different
i am JUST THE SAME
over my shoulder is no way to apologize
over my shoulder is no way to apologize
can you trust me when
i won’t look in your eyes
i’ve wept in the darkness
but the sun was just outside
i’ve cursed a cloudy sky
i’ve promised, i’ve lied
i know where i’m headed
i know that i should turn
the beautiful bright horizon
is all my bridges burned
obligated
we’ve reached the end of our conversation
any more words would be wasted on you
because if i say anything
you won’t believe it’s true
i’m tired of not being trusted
don’t be afraid of me
i’m asking you to run away from somewhere
you have no reason to be
anything i say
you throw away
as obligated
i think you’re beautiful, yes, yes i do
i’m sorry i don’t make you feel that way
but if you believe i would lie to you
i’ve got nothing more to say
i love you, you’ll just have to deal with that
take it or leave it, it will not die
but the only thing you seem to believe
is when i say goodbye