Tag Archives: my stuff

afraid of You

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God, Struggles

i’m not afraid of You
i’m afraid of what You can do
open my gates for an army of enemies
and let me have what i’m reaching for

so i get dressed up for you
i wash my hands and wipe my brow
a smile for you like you can’t see
i’m just trying to win your mercy

i doubt you’re there because
i am just as weak as i ever was
beat me down and steal my pride
prove that evil has nowhere to hide

how could you hang there
when you knew this day would come
how can you still care
after everything i’ve done

it’s cheap and easy to begin
“Lord, forgive me for my sins”
but it hurts so much to say
forgive me for today

surely this one was what made
the Son hang in unholy shade
surely God had to turn away
when this debt was paid

war

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, Faith, God

well i’ve been promised the world in your name
in the morning it all sounds the same
well they tell me i’m new, that i matter to you
i want to believe it’s true

so i set out all smiles to see
the grand plan of eternity
and all that i find are ambushing sorrows
i can’t even predict my tomorrows

it’s feeling less like a quest
to capture what’s best for me
and more like a war that i must surrender

the easy advice, “fall upon trust”
but i want to believe just because i must
evidence that speaks louder than doubt
love so real – my fears are drowned out

but i would not be loving you
if i did not choose
to believe you’re true

so this is my white flag
take me over

all that i am
i lay at Your feet
and joyously
i claim defeat

sunrise

Posted on by under Girls, Sad

she stares at the ceiling till she closes her eyes
he whispers sweet everythings into her ears
this is the part she’ll tell her friends
when his promises are all that she hears

this dance to the fading out radio station
she imagines the soundtrack of her life
the credits will roll with a walk down the aisle
a husband and a wife

take her, moonlight, ease her pain
the sun will show her scarred again
lead her out of the lies of the guys
who promise the world – but can’t give her a sunrise

i caught her eye this afternoon
i was in a hurry somewhere – i got there too soon
i saw the hurt, rejection and the fear
i was looking into a mirror

i see her now – early into bed
going past her past in her head
i hear the promises she whispers to the night
but there’s no music to make it right

make of me

Posted on by under Faith, God, Struggles

if i envy…what will be?
if i got what the world took away from me
will i be the one i always claimed to be?
truth from lies i’ve told everybody

i see a man i might have been
the finish line for what i never could begin
to run that race you have to want to win
and i could never find that fire again

but i am only what you make of me
i am only what you make of me

shoulder my load and walk on home
leave me here to cry alone
i’m choked by vines from seeds i’ve sown
but You don’t forget Your own

never leave me, no don’t forsake
me or these messes i make
stay close you can hear my heart break
closer still every time i wake

let me in

Posted on by under friends


i read your faces or the masks you wear
you just want me out of your hair
when i did i go the way of disco
am i just someone you used to know

i guess you thought you were helping me move on
maybe you thought i was already gone
but pardon me, but that’s up to me
and i’m so tired of being lonely

i’ll knock, knock, knock, upon your door
surprise i’m back to be your friend
shut me out i’ll come back for more
you say there’s no room, let me in

i battle with complying with your request
maybe this is all for the best
after all, we’d one day drift apart
this is faster, a shot through the heart

but i will not be your excuse machine
i don’t think you like what i mean
you want someone to come fill your cup
the coffee’s in the kitchen, just get up

have it all

Posted on by under Faith, God


Oh Holy God – You reach for me
i offer my heart and soul
and everything i give away
leaves me feeling more whole

oh God You can hear my cry
You see my heart’s washed clean
Jesus, You alone can take
these burdens that i bring

hear my cry – “thanks” – what you’ve done for me
Jesus, I will give you everything
even what I want
even when i fall
Jesus, You can have it all

like a storm cloud to Job You speak
like a whisper to Elijah You call
write you will upon my heart
like the writing on a wall

Your Glory, it is the melody
for a song i long to hear
and when i see You face to face
You’ll sing it in my ear

hear my thanks for what you’ve done for me
Jesus, I will give you everything
even what I want
even when i fall
Jesus, You can have it all

can i come over

Posted on by under Faith, friends, God, My Favorites, Struggles

 


can i come over and make it ok
i don’t know what to say
but i can hear you choke back your tears
i have to fix what’s broken

i know the pain that has you down
i’m wounded too, i limp around
i know that life – life is unfair
but that is a reason for joy

we know the end of the story
but this chapter breaks our hearts
and i can’t make you smile
are we that far apart

i don’t know why the guys don’t call you
i don’t know who is meant for you
but i know beyond romance
God is waiting….waiting….

so let these words bring you comfort
rest not in things to come
but know that your hope for tomorrow
comes from what’s already been done

over her

Posted on by under Getting Over It, Girls


was it her who broke my heart
and kept us apart?
no.
it was me.
she didn’t do anything

now i fly above this land
i watch it like i’m its king
but i’m wondering…

is she down there?
in that row of traffic lights
is she down there?
is she alright tonight
oh i’m over her
but is she down there?

sometimes we stand at the gate
and watch our hope fly away
and we hope nothing will change
but nothing here is the same

and so tonight i’m over her
i stare down far below
goodbye, so long
i was wrong

whatever i need

Posted on by under Conviction / Doubt, God, Struggles

how many times have you stood at the beside
and watched the loved ones come in and cry
each tear a secret no one can confide
how many times have you watched us die

how many times have you whispered your grace
how many people really heard what you meant
each word, twisted and turned, for quick release
how many times have you stayed silent

but this is me, down on my knees
i know you’ve seen me this way before
this is me, saying ‘help me, please’
and knockin’ on your door

give me what it is i need to be free

i’m locked up here in day after day
looking for something, some kind of key
mourning the loss of things passed away
how many out there are just like me

the questions are echoes bounced off the sky
the answers you gave are ignored or denied
we’re not here to watch our lives pass by
how many times have you heard this cry?

stormcloud

Posted on by under Getting Over It, Girls

what a way to waste a table for two
thinking about the one who should fill the empty chair
suddenly it occurs to me
i’m better off lonely

why do i need to hang around
she’d only end up bringing me down
why should i be obsessed with the girl
she thinks she’s alone in this world

she’s not the one for me
now i can see
she was a stormcloud in my sky
now she’s floating by

i played the fool – i played by the rules
still she somehow won the game
for a while i was quick to wonder what i did
quick to assume all the blame

but here over my second dr pepper
i’m wondering what’s wrong with her
i was just fine, she could be mine
it’s her loss, she couldn’t read my signs