i’m sorry
i just had to tell you that i loved you
you had your suspicions
and i proved them true
you sat me down
with tears in your eyes
you sat me down
made me realize
i’m not the one for you
you said…
can’t we just be friends?
i thought i
gave you what you asked for
we were friends
and nothing more
but i guess that
was still too much
now you say
let’s just keep in touch
new meaning to old words that broke my heart
i say…
can’t we just be friends?
your kiss is sweet in mystery
to others, not unknown
i long to feel your softness
touch this heart of stone
like a whisper held in thunder
is my prayer under my tears
to keep me safe and searching
till you find me waiting here
it seems all hope is lost
but i don’t despair
i know God can hear my prayer
if we were meant to face our lives
together, hand in hand
then that makes clear emotions
i don’t yet understand
but i still seek the sun
here in my darkest hour
i will not test your love
on the pedals of a flower
when i fall you feel the pain
when i thirst you pray for rain
when i try you cheer me on
when i win you say you knew all along
you gave so much to teach me
the lessons, they didn’t always reach me
of all i’ve learned, i know this is true
i could not ever stop thanking you
i may not say it that often
but i hope you know it’s true
when i grow up i want to be
just like you
when i cried you wiped the tears
killed the monsters and calmed my fears
when i stayed out i knew you’d worry
when i slept, you prayed over me
you make it look so easy
it’s what i dream to be
i hope you finish what you’ve begun
i’m so proud to be your son
it’s quite foolish of me to say
i have even hope to pray
for a miracle greater than splitting the sea
for God to drop her in love with me
but David saw giants and gathered some stones
Samson, surrounded, had just a jawbone
Daniel survived in that dark lion’s den
don’t get me started on Gideon
you have the power, you have the plan
you know the rib missing from each man
so i ask, Father, make her mine
if she’s not, send me a sign …unmistakable
she is bright lightning in my sky
heaven sent, sure, but why
for the beauty, the awe, for me to see
or to destroy like skin to electricity
i don’t know if she’s good or bad
just the best hope i ever had
oh how i want her, i have no chance
but, God, You can give me romance
tonight i look back on my life
i think that you would like to see
me by the fire, out in the crowd
saying, “no, he aint’ with me”
because i cannot claim to be
someone who knows the truth
when i can’t even walk in your way
everyday of my life is proof
but You tatoo me
Your word in my heart
You tatoo me
we’ll never be apart
help me live up to
this tatoo
play the music, pull me offstage
i’ve done my damage to Your name
You let me hold up a banner for You
while i’m a slave to flesh and flame
so when i deny You, are You glad
You don’t have to speak for my sins?
but when i weep, You hold my hands
You know that i’ll do it again…
i’m not a strong man
when i push down
get up again
but the hardest thing
is seeing you smile through
tears of my intent
are you ok?
i did not mean it
i’m sorry
please won’t you stay?
i’d quit betting on me…
here are scars from fights we’ve won
here are scars from nights i’ve run
but head me off at the pass
i’m a rat born into a maze
i don’t know any other way
don’t question the walls
or the end of my days
i can’t see anything but yesterday
the ground will shake beneath my feet
the nations will fall in flames
but cover me up in your promises
and tell me again how you know my name
here are scars from fights we’ve won
here are scars from nights i’ve run
but head me off at the pass
i’ve got so much i want to say to you
but the words all spill out of order
put a hand on my shoulder
You know…
i’m not the kind of guy girls kiss
not the kind they wish for
i’m not the kind of guy girls miss
i’m the one that convinces them they deserve more
i’m the guy that they let inside
i’m the one who sees their souls
i’m the phonecall when they need to cry
not the guy that they need to hold
so i’m ‘that guy’
i am the closest friend
i heal the wounded
and send them to battle again…
fine.
i’m not the kind of guy girls dream of
i’m the kind of guy they ignore
i’m not the kind of guy girls love
i’m the kind of guy that girls adore
i see the beauty that sets them apart
and they waste it on the wrong kind
i’m not the guy that breaks their hearts
i’m the guy that they leave behind
i want to change
i want to be someone else
than this who i’ve become
slowly sliding into me
i aim to climb
into the cockpit of a bird
that can fly higher than i
have ever hoped to see
but i am me
unfortunately
all things turn
around me
i am and will always be
me
here is the mask
i wear outside
when the weather calls
for the slightest bit of pride
here is the mask
i where when i’m real
i’ve grown up in costumes
don’t know how to feel for real
God, i speak to You in a breaking voice
selfishly searching for reasons to rejoice
Your name, Your reputation, made so weak in my hands
the skeptics look – think they understand
but let it not be a question of me
but brighter shine your unmockable glory
this life, it is not given to see what we might do
and i know that i will give it back to you
as i breathe and speak and die
as i sing and laugh and cry
i will keep Your name held high
above all else i’ll glorify
promises fade, they fall apart
i build up walls around my beating heart
You watch me carry the flag of Your name
i take my falls, why must You take the blame?
no bumper sticker, no bold tatoo
could never say anymore about You
than my life when viewed from the outside
by those who seek, what i try to hide
i was never good at writing love songs
i didn’t really know how to feel
i never felt ready, or worthy i guess
i never thought my feelings were real
but i love you, yes, i know that now
i can’t resist or run away
thoughts of you are here in the morning
here at night when i kneel to pray
i am yours for the taking
yours for the breaking
yours no matter what you do
i’ll always love you
you walked a journey to get here
sometimes you followed, sometimes you led
as much as i try to protect you
sometimes you cried and you bled
my arms are open for you
i can’t pretend to resist
wrap yourself up in my adoration
know when in blink, for that instant, you are missed Continue reading