stormcloud

what a way to waste a table for two
thinking about the one who should fill the empty chair
suddenly it occurs to me
i’m better off lonely

why do i need to hang around
she’d only end up bringing me down
why should i be obsessed with the girl
she thinks she’s alone in this world

she’s not the one for me
now i can see
she was a stormcloud in my sky
now she’s floating by

i played the fool – i played by the rules
still she somehow won the game
for a while i was quick to wonder what i did
quick to assume all the blame

but here over my second dr pepper
i’m wondering what’s wrong with her
i was just fine, she could be mine
it’s her loss, she couldn’t read my signs

here with me

they say that friends just come and go
some you miss some you never really know
they just fade away, meet someone new
maybe say, “whatever happened to…”

so it should be with you and me
life would make it easy
we just drift apart, then forget
but we’ve made sure that hasn’t happened yet

cause i thank God for sending you
you always know just what to do
when i’m blue
when i’m happy
i want you
to laugh with me
to pray for me

i still remember the first time we met
we were shy, we were quiet
we got along, but we could not tell
that we’d hit it off so well

now it’s tough to keep in touch
i still know you care so much
life is hard, i won’t pretend
it is easier being your friend

break my heart

 


oh God, You saved me
here i am asking You
to do it again

find me here
where i hide
and point me home

but oh this light
makes me wish it was night
i don’t want to be seen now

cause i know what You have to see
cause You can’t settle for my lies
no – You always realize

that i am worthless
to me and my plans
and i am unworthy
for You to call me a man

but oh God, You see some worth in me
that i can’t believe is there
at times like this i can’t see
just why You care – You care

stop this pounding in my head
that’s telling me i’d be better off
over there instead of waiting i’m waiting for you

to break my mind open
break my thoughts to fit your will
break my heart open
the only way  You’ll fill it
break my heart

oh God, You know me
and here i am saying, “who are You”
one sided , i’m hidin’
i’m hiding from You

put Your hand on my heart
and rip it apart
if that’s the only way
You can say – here i am. here i am. child, here i am.

break my heart. break my heart.

change the channel

 


there’s two minutes left on primetime tv
but the game is over to me
’cause my team is losing, letting me down
no hope they’ll turn it around

so i give up, and off goes the game
if i watch or walk, you know it’s all the same
’cause it’ll happen just like before
and i don’t wanna watch anymore

so i change the channel
i don’t wanna be there when they drop the ball
oh it’s more than they can handle
so i’m changing the channel

You’ve tuned in to all of my days
most of the time i can’t feel your gaze
so i play my games and take my dives
You see me live the life i deny

You watch me walk away from You
same old story, i’m nothing new
i’m sick of making all these mistakes
sick of making promises you know i’m gonna break

but You won’t change the channel
You’re gonna be there when i take the fall
when it (feels like) more than i can handle
no, You never change the channel

heaven help me

365 reasons to say thank you
but all i can think about is one day
how so much can change in a year
and still say much the same

with my tainted wisdom i can guess
that i’ll keep falling till the floor
and only then will God pick me up
when i can’t fight Him anymore

heaven help me, i’m not there yet
why do i fall when You say i can fly?
heaven help me, i must forget
why i wound You with lies?
do what it takes to break me
heaven help me, i’m not there yet

how much further before i land
and fall broken to my knees
how many nights like this until
i hang from the tree of my deeds

i long for that distant day
when all this will be erased
as shadows flee from the sun
and i recognize Your face

carnival de amor

 


when i stepped out at this carnival
it was new to this old town
now the big tops coming down
and i’ve been hired as a clown

you can laugh if you thinks it’s funny
i once was watching too
but if you go to that carnival
it will happen to you

i have a cotton candy crush
so hard it breaks my teeth
a sweet and tender feeling
with concrete underneath

i spun it round it my head
sweet, soft, equal parts
i find it rots to love
wrapped tightly round my heart

so i’m putting on some straight face
teaching the apes to sign
telling them the sad story
of this heart o’ mine

i have a cotton candy crush
so hard it breaks my teeth
a sweet and tender feeling
with concrete underneath

can you run from what you can’t see?
can you hide from how you feel?
so i chew on stone emotion
and swallow words sharp as steel

this much i know

pick me up this threshing floor
tell me i’m special, tell me i’m loved
tell me you sing me a lullaby
every night from above

they told me stories i eventually read
i had no problem calling them true
but now they are feeding me little white lies
making it easier …to follow You

but i don’t believe in You
because i’m supposed to
i won’t pretend to understand
all the works of Your hand

but this much i know is true
i need You

schoolnight fights back when i was a boy
i wanted to stay up till i fell asleep
dad would say – tomorrows another day
as he tucked me under the sheets

in that darkness i had no fear
of the consequence of coming years
i rested in knowing that you knew me
there was more to life than i could see

now i just need to be told once more
that you fuss over those the world ignores
hold me and tell me again
You’re my friend

take me to mars

i follow tracks carved out for me
with an envious eye on destiny
cause this world seems so set in stone
will i always feel so lonely

but i’m watcing a waltz in a sparkling sky
and i know what way up high
things aren’t as they seem down here
beyond the reach of our dreams our fears

way up there
You are everywhere
i want to step on the stars
i want to be where You are

so take me away…to Mars

set my feet on the highest land
so i can see – i can comprehend
the grand scheme of the common man
where can i ask, but where i stand

i want to kick up that dust on the moon
and know that my purpose is gonna find me soon
i want to watch my worries float away
i want to be a boy at play

way up there
You are everywhere
i want to step on the stars
i want to be where You are

so take me away…to Mars

reason in the rain

thunder rolls inside of me
lightning flashes, i can’t see
what this storm is for

i’ve prayed the days gone by
please explain why it’s so dry
there must be something more

this is what i’ve prayed for
thank you, please take it away
cause all i see is the pain
show me the reason in the rain

the night’s alive and it is angry
again i’m asking “save me!”
give me the strength to wait longer

the clouds will pass, the sun will rise
i can imagine clear blue skies
but this storm…it’s making me stronger

peter’s tears


here, in the world i hold at bay
surrounded by folks who don’t see things my way
they ask me questions, i know they know the truth
all they want from me is proof

when did i learn to be ashamed of my soul?
i try to disect what God’s made whole
only for my sake i lied, i denied
i know You’re dying inside

and Your words come back in my regret
i swore i’d never forget
tossed into a land so well worn
i feel less like a seed and more like a thorn

i lose myself in the lies of my mind
robbed of excuses i’m trying to find
three times convicted, i was broken by two
i can’t think of what i’ve done to You

but never again – that’s my oath of the hour
give me the strength, i haven’t the power
to stand in the face of that slow steady wind
and never fall – again.