my stuff
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such a waste
i chose a costume from my closet whatever mood you’re in today face up to an honest mirror rehearse words i’ll never say and when i’m home from chasing you hang my laugh on the back of the chair slip on a sadness that’s wearing thin and wonder why i care i pour myself out…
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hard to find
smuggle these words out of my head in whispers meant for angel ears and carry them off to heaven wrapped up in my deepest fears i am too smart to fall for this she is not worth the chase but i am made a fool by every smile on her face so i send a…
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you are nice enough to say
sometimes i can’t move fast enough to duck out of the way of what you don’t really mean but are nice enough to say so i’d like to leave it all to you the choices to be made and i’ll be along for the ride no games to be played this time it’s a safer…
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public access
1-26-01 —- she was more to me than i can say more than syllables convey it was public access on the air everyone gets it, nobody cares hearing her voice and “hey it’s me” like the oxygen i forgot to breathe and i inhale it and fill my soul claw for the diamond in the…
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abandon my hope
1-15-01 —– oh yeah i’m feeling the burn alright the soft ache of a silent night it’s not so much that i’m lonely it’s not so bad that i’m me i’ve got a stack of distractions waiting for me to take action but i’m stuck on the maybe you might want to waste some time…
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i am winter
1/4/2001 i am winter come to ruin the promise of last spring with freezing rain on window panes i am death of everything there is no guilt or sadness for summer’s come and gone each has had their day i am dusk for every dawn
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at the end of december
12-31 —– every person in my universe has something better to do than to just check up on me before the year is new every tear that i have wasted every tear wiped on my sleeve is all from beautiful lies i tried to believe too old to feel so fresh why does the pain…
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pardon
12/16/2000 spotlights stroll the prison yard i’m stuck back in a shadow fifty feet from the closest wall watching dogs alert with my fear a tug of a leash and it’s clear i start out slow, unsure of the plan they’re looking for reasons to kill a man cheek to the wall, grabbing at brick…
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trepidation
10/25/2000 God, if i give you what you’ve earned the sacrifice that is meant to burn what will become of the world i know shallow laughs with lies below trepidation, face of fear as Your promised land draws near what if i can’t handle being real what if i break what time can’t heal but…